Suicide...not a good option...

The holidays are in full swing. The night before Thanksgiving, someone I knew committed suicide. I didn't know him well, but it is strange to think of someone that I can put a face to, doing something like this.

He was separated from his wife, living with his new girlfriend, has two kids still in grade school. I saw him at the show with his kids just a week ago. While his wife and kids were away at relatives for TG, he went back to their house and shot himself.

I'm grateful he didn't feel the need to take out the wife and kids but why in the HELL would you kill yourself in your children's home where they might come home from a happy holiday and find you, dead and congealed on the floor...things splattered everywhere? Is that how you would want to be remembered? I just don't get it. Luckily, before the kids ever got home, the girlfriend reported him missing and police found him, and the scene was cleaned up by a cleaning crew before anybody got back home. Apparently the dogs saw something because now they won't eat.

Again, I just don't get it. I guess the pain is so great that a person who does this just isn't thinking, or isn't thinking clearly. If you MUST do a thing like that, don't do it where a loved one will find you, don't do it in a vehicle...just go outside somewhere in the woods. Of course, better yet, there are hot lines, and there is help. Call for help before it gets that bad. There is NOTHING that can't be healed or that you can't learn to live with or without, except death. That shit is final.

Great holiday he left for his kids. They'll have such a Merry Christmas now, right? And if you're mad at your spouse...don't EVER make your kids pay for that anger!

The holidays can be a time of great joy or great sorrow. Get help if you need it. PLEASE!

Tools of Divination. Crystal Ball and Magic 8 Ball

The image from the divination tools overview article gave me the inspiration to begin with the crystal ball, and include the magic 8 ball in the same article. These may sound like the same thing, but they are used in very different ways.

Divination by scrying is a method that utilizes seeing information in a smooth reflective surface. Most frequently, it is associated with the use of a crystal ball. The crystal ball shown in the above Microsoft clip art image would not be deemed suitable due to the lack of clarity in the orb. The greater the reflective properties, the more valued the object for scrying would be considered to be. Scrying may be done with a bowl of water, a mirror or other object as well.

While I have not personally attempted the use of any scrying instruments, the process seems to be similar no matter which tool of scrying is used. One scrys by entering a deep meditative state, or some would call it a trance (because that's so mysterious), and clearing the mind of extraneous thoughts begins to focus on the question or topic that one wishes information to be revealed about. Some say the images or answers are shown in the reflective surface of the object and others say that the surface serves as a focal point but the images or information are seen in the "mind's eye". The ways in which practitioners "see" is highly individual to them.

The Magic 8 ball, on the other hand, is not a scrying object but an object of divination popularly marketed as a toy. I remember these from when I was a kid and I wanted one really bad!







The Magic 8 Ball was invented in 1946 by a medium, and later sold by Mattel. The image directly above is the word object that has approximately 20 answer options on it (both images courtesy of Wikipedia). This object is situated inside the Magic 8 ball and is surrounded by a blue liquid. There is a window in the bottom of the 8 ball and the way it works is that you hold the ball, and ask a question. My favorite questions usually went something like this "Does he like me for a girlfriend?" then you turn the ball over, and one of the answers would appear in the window. Such things as "ask again tomorrow", or "it is decidedly so". We thought this was great fun! I bought a magic 8 ball within the last couple of years to add to my growing collection of divination objects. They sure don't make them like they used to! This one has a hard time getting the little word block to land evenly on ANY answer. So sometimes I just get an edge. Still fun to play with! And in many ways, this toy, functions in the same manner as many other tools of divination. A question is asked, and the object provides some sort of feedback to the user.

Which tool will I research next? See if you can divine the answer!

Series on tools of Divination. Overview.

Hang on to your cauldrons, we're going to take a bumpy ride into the realms of the tools of divination.

Typically, a tool of divination is a tangible object or set of objects that is said to assist someone with gaining information from the spirit world. Sometimes this comes in the form of a future prediction or warning, or simply guidance in the form of narrowing down options. They are used for entertainment as well as for serious divination. Such tools are often viewed by mainstream religions as demonic or "tools of the devil" and are viewed with fear and disdain. Mainstream America also tends to view these tools as laughable and those who use and rely on them as "a few fries short of a full-meal-deal". People who regularly use them can either rely heavily on them, or use them more peripherally, and believe them to be tools that assist us in gaining tangible proof, or a demonstration of messages from beyond our realm of typical understanding.

I do not yet know how many articles there will be in this series as I am hoping that readers will give me specific tools to research. This series will be followed up with a series on psychic gifts.

I've begun a list that I will add to as the ideas from readers come in. The preliminary list has all the usual, more familiar suspects including: divining rods, pendulums Chinese fortune sticks, the crystal ball and the 8 ball, Ouija boards, Tarot and other cards, runes, magic lamps, book and key, water scrying, and bones/entrails. Please add to this list with your comments and I will try to research all that are sent my way.

I have not used all of these tools but have used some of them. My own experience has shown them to be unreliable on a consistent basis for me. I can't speak for others and I am not denying their utility. I find them interesting to research, to play with and I find no evil in their use. I'm of the opinion that evil is an attribute we give to something, not an attribute that inherently exists. Tools can be used for good and used for bad, just like our brains are tools that can be use for either. A hammer can be used to build and create, or to murder. The hammer in and of itself is neither good nor bad. Our fear of the unknown or of things we do not understand, tend to shroud them in mystery and from there we attribute labels of goodness or badness to them.

Tools of divination have been around way longer than I have. They are part of our history, and interesting to learn about whether you believe them to be good or bad. So join me on this journey into the basic overview of these items of interest, reverence and contempt. Please add any experiences you have had with use of these items, or add to the list of objects I created above. It is my goal to explore these items, and to educate. It is not to pass judgment one way or another.

No dry drumsticks, just movies and steak!

I haven't posted the last couple of days. What a slacker! :-) Yeah, whatever!

Our Thanksgiving was quiet and uneventful. We grilled steaks, I opened a can of corn, and we ate some ice cream and my husband ate some of the pumpkin pie my mom dropped by.

We went to a 1 p.m. showing of New Moon and it was bliss to be in there with only 10 other people! No lines! WOOT!

We rented "Up" (a sweet Pixar animated flick), "Pelham 123" (and action flick with Denzel Washington and John Travolta, which was pretty good), and we rented but still haven't watched "Wall-E" (another animated by Pixar). Hubby had to work today, and I'm certainly not venturing anywhere near a store today. I'll have to brave the pouring rain and drop off the movies at Blockbuster that are due back today. Other than that, it's just another day in the neighborhood.

We got the Christmas cards ready to go in the mail. We trimmed the list WAY down and there are still too many. I didn't want to do them at all, but hubby thought we should. So he helped. I think every other year would be good enough. Or not at all.

Part of my Thanksgiving article "Thanks for the Little Things" that appears here, also appeared in the Thanksgiving Day issue of our local paper. Gee, I'm famous now, right?? Want my autography while the line is still short? No??? FINE!

Time for a cup of tea and figuring out what's up for the day. Looks like there are some dust bunnies swirling round our bare floors that could use a good sucking up.

Book Review: Strength for Life

I used to be athletic. I still workout. I don't look like I do. Sad.

Years ago, a book was on the market by Bill Phillips, the editor in chief of a magazine called Muscle Media 2000 (magazine is no longer in circulation). That book was called Body For Life. The magazine sponsored a 12 week transformation contest with really cool prizes. So I entered (didn't win, but made some improvements...for a while).

2008, enter little brother Shawn Phillips and his book Strength For Life.

I sort of knew Shawn's wife, and am interested in weight training, so why not read this one too?

OK, I'm gonna tell you right now that Shawn has been bodybuilding for so long, he is not really in touch with what it is like to be a "real" person. He uses language in this book that is more suited for a seasoned bodybuilder or somebody familiar with weight training. I understood it from years of training, but I bet the average Jane or Joe would not. And obviously he is a very dedicated, and regimented person when it comes to his strength training. I'm not that girl, not anymore.

And sadly, I had to ask myself, how on earth did he get away with basically writing the same book his brother had written earlier, with a few twists of adding more mind/body integration? They must have made a deal. Because I read this book already, only it was called something else (Body for Life).

I will say, though, that with my previous familiarity with bodybuilding lingo and exercises, this was a nice refresher, and it DOES, indeed go a bit further than the original in that it takes advantage of Eastern integration of mind/body/spirit, and it gives a bit more follow up on what to do once you've completed your 12 week challenge, (IE, how to not just go back to where you were, or to keep doing the same grueling 12 week challenge back to back).

It is well written with the exception of a few quotes that were claimed but that I can attribute to someone else in history, and sometimes the photos of the exercises don't match the description (for example, the description will say to stand with feet shoulder width apart, but the photo shows the person standing with their legs together). The author's passion for this system shows, and I think he really DOES care that people increase their strength and adhere to a program that will give them strength for life.

Just like it's predecessor,the book does have useful dietary guidelines, and helpful charts to track your progress that you can photocopy and take to the gym with you.

At my age, I'm looking for something a bit gentler, more realistic, less regimented, and this just wasn't it. It's a good book, but it cannot be called a new book...they just slapped a new cover on the old one and tweaked it here and there. I'm sure Shawn is a really nice guy, but I was disappointed.

Check your "Forwards" for Authenticity First!!

We've all received those forwards, right?

...a little third grader wants as many Christmas cards as possible...
...criminals target you for this or that and how you should stay safe...
...the moon will be up Uranus on only one specific day this year and never again for a million more...
...using a microwave has been proven to cause brain damage, breast cancer AND black holes...

Some of them are obvious crap, but people still forward them blindly to everyone in their email address book. And some of them sound really true! And some of them sound at least plausible! And some of them actually ARE true!

Visit SNOPES I love this site! It has one of the most comprehensive data bases of Internet and social networking "urban legends" (aka untrue crap that people forward). So if you get a forward that little Johnny in Hoboken is dying of cancer and wants as many emails as he can get before he dies...you can actually check your facts before you send it to everyone you know and look like a total idiot. Better yet, you can check your facts before you forward it to ME...because *I* check my facts, and woe unto you if you forward me some tripe that you didn't bother to check first. Oh, you will not like my reply to that!

If you don't find what you're looking for on Snopes, you can email them and forward the forward (so to speak) for them to investigate. Usually they will reply with a link to where it can be found on their site, OR they do some work to check to see if it's true. It really doesn't take very long and saves all of your "friends" having to sort through extra email.

Don't blindly send out or forward forwards without looking to see if they are real first!

Recently, I got one of these...it was all about a specific criminal M.O. for carjacking. It was quite scary. So I checked it, and found out it was totally fabricated. Plausible, yes, true, no. And guess what? This had been forwarded by a Chief of police in a neighboring county! I looked him up and emailed him and forwarded his forward BACK to him and asked him if he sent it. See, I figured somebody else put his name on it and he would want to put a stop to it. Nope...HE actually DID forward it. And further, he didn't see anything wrong with it because it was plausible. He stated that he had not made any money from it nor harmed anyone (besides perhaps scaring most of the women who read it), so it wasn't perpetuating a hoax. EXCUSE ME??? I'm telling you, this email said all over it, WARNING WARNING WARNING, This is true and happening here! And he signed HIS name to it, not just forwarded it! So for all intents and purposes, it appeared that this was actively happening in his jurisdiction...which was only an hour away from my town. NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT???? WHAT FREAKING PLANET IS THIS GUY FROM?? Needless to say, the guy that takes a bite out of crime, had a bite taken from his ass when I finished with him. AND, I copied his emails and sent them to OUR police chief and told him I certainly hoped they could learn from this what NOT do to here!

Trifle with ME? I think not!

So either trash those messages or check them first, or suffer my wrath.

The Holiday Madness Has Begun!

Oh, if only I could fast forward to about the end of February! The holiday buzz has begun, complete with bell ringers and the energy of stress, want, desire, fear, lack...all of it...hanging off of people already. I feel it all when I'm in public. I got off to a late start this morning on the grocery shopping so didn't manage to avoid it. Usually from now until February or so, I try to get my grocery shopping done about 7 a.m., wearing my MP3 player so I can buffer out a lot of it. But it still gets through. Not a good time of year to be an empath.

But, I made it back in one piece and will only need to go rent movies on Wednesday sometime. We're set. We will grill steaks and just watch movies, just the two of us on TG. Ahhhhh, bliss. At least inside our house there will be calm.

And Christmas...don't EVEN get me started. Last year we went to a small town on the coast for the week. Quiet, no bustle. I hope we can do that again this year.

Literally, it is ELECTRIC...I get shocked by everything at the store, and shock everything when I get home. My husband has to touch me about 3 times before he can kiss me, and STILL we often get a loud, painful static ZAP or POP. It is just weird.

Blog-o-rama!

Does the fact that I made a bunch of entries on Friday make up for the fact that I didn't blog yesterday and that today's blog is lame and has no thought behind it?

I pretty much take a break from the computer on the weekends when I can.

I woke up to a skiff of fresh snow this morning and it feels really cold...it's right around 30 degrees. We didn't get the big snow storm that was forecast...yet anyway.

I'll have to brave the grocery store tomorrow and hope that I've beat the holiday shopping crowd, to get my groceries for the week. Not doing anything for TG besides maybe grilling steaks and renting movies. We're not much into the whole holiday thing. Too much hype, too little money, sort of turns us off of them.

I better get back to ProBlogger and read about what else I'm messing up on!

Children and Spiritual or Religious Abstractions

Did you get confused with explanations about your particular faith growing up? What are some of your funny stories about things you thought about God or church when you were little?

When my son was about three, we were out for a walk and in a neighborhood with a lot of churches in it and he said "Which one does God live in?" and I said "Huh?", and he said "If church is God's house, which one does he live in?". Yeah, explain that to a toddler. On another occasion he said, "How much does God weigh?" and again I said "Huh?". "How does he not fall through the clouds?" I have no idea of what my final response was, but I bet it was lame.

One evening at the dinner table, when my son was in Christian preschool, he announced loudly and with fear in his voice, "WE HAVE TO PRAY AND WE HAVE TO PRAY RIGHT NOW!", to which he received my usual words of wisdom, "Huh?". "TEACHER SAYS IF WE READ THE BIBLE AND PRAY WE WILL GROW GROW GROW, AND IF WE DON'T WE WILL SHRINK SHRINK SHRINK, AND I'M TOO LITTLE ALREADY!!!!!". So we prayed. The next day I had to find out what this was about, because nothing I said would convince him otherwise, because "Teacher said." As it turned out they had a little song they sang to this effect and it had a little construction paper flower that the teacher would grow taller with the "grow, grow, grow" and make smaller with the "shrink, shrink, shrink" part of the song. She had to try to explain it to him because I sure couldn't.

I have always been extremely sensitive and not the best abstract thinker, even in my adult years. But I recall that in my era, Sunday school was often a boring affair fraught with old testament workbook pages. The old testament is a violent and freaky thing for a child. Nobody bothered to explain anything about it. I also recall that communion "freaked my freak" (to borrow a quote from Ellen DeGeneres). I would get queasy and sometime throw up at the thought that we were drinking some guy's blood and eating his body. I thought we really WERE, and that what was contained in the little cup really was blood, and that the little wafer really was human flesh. It still grosses me out to this day and I have never adjusted to that symbolism. So as I kid, the summary was that God was a scary violent person who killed anybody who disobeyed, AND THEN, we ate him.

And what about the trinity? Now there's a fine kettle of fish. I could go round and round with that one and never get it. I think I have the idea of the concept now, but it still takes some serious thought. Many times a question would be answered with just another abstraction: "It just is." "Because that's the way God made it." "You just have to have faith". So, what's faith? Trust. What's trust? Belief. What's belief?

According to world renown and revered child development researcher and expert Jean Piaget, children do not begin to develop abstract thought until the age of 12 (the Formal Operational Stage). And that is an average age of when it BEGINS to develop. For some children it takes much longer. For those with learning disabilities, or any other mental or emotional impairment, it may never happen. For grown-ups like me, who are more concrete-linear than abstract thinkers, it remains a struggle.

So how do we share whatever our faith is with our children without traumatizing or confusing them? I'm no longer a church-goer, and probably don't even qualify officially as a Christian anymore because of the diversity and eclecticism of my beliefs, so I don't know how Sunday school is these days. I would imagine it is still taught by volunteer, well-meaning church members. Are they equipped and educated on the developmental capacities of their tiny charges?

Pro Blogger Book Review

Pro Blogger by Darren Rowse and Chris Garrett is a book about "blogging your way to a six figure income".

I intend to review this book as I read it. So far, I've only read two chapters and I've learned that I'm doing everything wrong if I actually want to make money doing this. And if I follow their advice, I think the fun will be sucked out of it. Here's what I'm doing wrong so far:
* I don't read other successful blogs. In fact I really don't read any blogs.
* I should have chosen a focused niche for my blog, not a random, shotgun approach of random thoughts. People have been successful with personal blogs but it seems to be a rare event. And honestly, I don't know of a single topic that I a. either know enough about to blog long-term, or b. care enough about to blog long-term.
* I only have one blog. Seems to be rolling the dough, it is best to have several niches and several blogs, to spread yourself around. The very idea makes my ass ache. I'm confused enough with writing articles online, having email, facebook, twitter, Reddit, Digg, StumbleUpon and I also once had MySpace (but no more). I'm too old for this crap. I was born in the wrong era for all of this fast paced stuff.

What am I doing right according to the book? I realized it would take time. According to them, the average age of the top 100 blogs currently out there is 33.8 months. I was giving myself a year to explore it and see if a. I liked it, and b. if I made any money, and c. if anybody read it. Even though their time horizon is nearly three years, I would think I could do a reasonable evaluation of the experience at the one-year mark, wouldn't you?

I'll make this a running review, as I read along. So far, "Dude's you are totally raining on my parade!" Reality is such a downer sometimes.

December 7th, 2009 Update:
I finished the book. It's not a terribly long book. Just 200 pages with lots of charts and such, but technical stuff always takes me longer.

I'm realizing I'm just not the go-getter business type. I honestly have this Pollyanna trust in fate. I figure, when I have a hunch I should try something, or an idea that pulls at me enough to push me into action, I should trust it. I will either make money, or it will lead me into a new phase of learning. The strange thing is, I most often find that it leads me to learn something that I then later on teach somebody else who needs to learn it. Everybody has a purpose. While I don't know mine, there is a pattern of helping others...mostly without monetary payment. What the hell. If I need money, I can probably work anywhere to get by. Some things are just that way. I like helping people. Always trying to put a price tag on it is a pain in the ass! See my thought with the blog was just to get faceless advertisers to pay me, so I can keep helping people who need it. Sort of a Robin Hood approach.

Well, back to the book...so it is heavy on the go-getter business info. So if you have the drive and patience to follow what they say, this book really is chock full of good information. Mostly it just made me sad. Like "well, this will never work!".

A few things I DID mark in the book to check into. I'm already signed up for Google AdSense (hence the ads you see on the margins and ending of my blog posts...and some of the ads actually look interesting!), but there is something called Amazon Associates. I still have to look into that. I'm thinking it creates links where people could shop at Amazon directly from my blog posts (like when I tell you about this book, the link would let you buy it) and then I would get 10-15% of each sale. I just need to read through all their fine print and see if I can make heads or tails of it. And I've been stalling.

There is something called a "plug in" where I could ad a button on my blog that says "buy me a beer" or "buy me a coffee" and it actually lets people put money directly into my PayPal account just out of appreciation for the writing I do. Hmmmm, Interesting idea. I must learn more. Wonder if anybody would actually DO that?

Then they list some websites where you can hunt around for freelance writing work or blog work. I'll list them here for you:
http://freelancewritinggigs.com
http://jobs.problogger.net
http://performancing.com
http://craigslist.org
http://jobs.freelanceswitch.com

If I wanted to offer a consulting service (such as online counseling, which I've thought of before), I could have a direct pay via Paypal for this service prior to providing the service. Another interesting idea...but I'm not sure how to do that because they talk about it but don't give instructions HOW (same with that coffee button).

So there you have it!

Orbs. Part 2 of 2. Book Review: The Orb Project.

The Orb Project by Micael Ledwith & Klaus Heinemann was written in 2007 and contains research that is "likely based on the largest body of evidence ever to date assembled on the orb phenomenon..." (p 177). This research covers primarily what orbs are, how they can be photographed, how they communicate, and how to tell the difference between spirit orbs and dust, water particles or other photographic anomalies.

The book is divided into two parts, which each contain the independent research findings some sample photos of these two authors. Each man worked independently of the other, without knowing the other until after this research data had been amassed.

As much as I find this topic very interesting, and, in fact, intend to try my hand at some orb photography myself, I am sad to say that this book gave me a research brain freeze. What I understood from this book could be condensed contained in a single paragraph. Reader beware, these are highly trained and technical researchers and the data is not presented in layman terms (if it is, I'm in trouble). Here's a little taste:

"The torsion field can be "recorded" in the physical object subject to the external torsion radiation. This effect can last for many months if the torsion effect that has been recorded is shielded by a device like the crossed plastic sheets mentioned earlier. If the charged object is subjected to any physical shocks, the torsion charge will disappear because the torsion fields are closely coupled to inertial forces." (p. 56). Is it just me?? Minus a quote here and there, this is pretty much how the whole thing reads. If you are a hard scientist, you will find it to be shoddy research. If you understand photography in depth, this may all make perfect sense to you. If you're a regular Joe, you may, as I did, enjoy the pretty pictures, and be able to glean a hint of what they are talking about. Just a hint.

The cliff notes are: these two guys, worked a really really really long time doing research on orbs. They didn't even know each other! Then somebody had them write up their research findings in very hard-to-understand science talk, and slap it into a book. Part 1 is by Ledwith, and Part 2 is by Heinemann. It has really cool color photos in each section. And thank God the book is only 178 pages and the book is small, so each page doesn't have that much writing on it. And there are graphs and charts that may as well be written in a foreign language. But hey, you'll know what an orb is from a spiritual perspective! Unless you're a brainiac, read the pros and cons all over the internet and stick with the cliff notes here and find some photos on line. Unless you want to revisit a flashback from a college research class, you might want to sit this dance out.

My head is an orb of pain after reading this book. I'll leave you with one of the few passages I understood:

"Do dimensions exist altogether beyond the material ones we know, and what would the implications of that be for how we understand ourselves?" (p. 12).

Orbs. Part 1 of 2. Defined.

Technically speaking, an orb is a shape. It is also an anomaly that appears in many of our photographs. And for purposes of this article, it is a paranormal occurrence. In part one, orbs will be described and defined, and in part two, a book review of The Orb Project will be discussed.

Wikipedia, describes an orb, primarily in it's common scientific way: "The term orb describes unexpected, typically circular artifacts in photographs sometimes with trails, indicating motion. The technical photographic term for the occurrence of orbs, especially pronounced in modern ultra-compact cameras, is backscatter, orb backscatter or near-camera reflection." The entry goes on to describe the probable causes of such orbs including reflection, atmospheric moisture, dust particles and the like. It gives brief mention of the paranormal phenomenon.

According to the book, The Orb Project, orbs are quite often, exactly as Wikipedia describes them. However, the authors have researched orbs for some time and contend that they can also be emanations from spirits. Popular paranormal lore often describes orbs that appear in photos as actual spirit representations.

The researchers in The Orb Project, however, state that it is their understanding that orbs are spirit emanations, or emissions, or in lay terms, something that spirits release so that they can be seen. They also contend, that based on their research, they have demonstrated these orbs to be intelligent energy forms, which can also communicate by responding to simple yes/no questions. They achieve this by changing their location in subsequent photos based on the questions from the photographer. For example "If you appear in the left hand side of the photo it will mean yes, and if you appear in the right hand side of the photo it will mean no." It is stated, that through intention, and even sometimes without it, it is possible to easily and frequently photograph orbs yourself, and that there are ways to determine if the orbs are the type described by Wikipedia, or the type described by the authors.

Spirit emanations, or orbs are said to utilize the light of the camera's flash to "fluoresce" which is not the same as reflecting light. Orbs that are light are thought to be emissions from higher spiritual beings who may reside in unseen dimensions, or to be those who are highly evolved. They are thought to be beings who have never lived in physical form. When dark orbs show up on photographs, they are not to be confused with evil, but are thought to represent lower vibrational beings such as earthbound spirits or human spirits who may not realize they have died. They tend to utilize a process that is the opposite of fluorescence, and do not frequently, if ever, appear in the same photos with the lighter orbs.

If you search YouTube or the web in general, you will see that this topic is being hotly debated. Those who are posting photos and videos of dirt and water particles claiming it is all a scam, and those posting photos and video who believe it to be genuine spirit contact. Can we be so quick to decide what is or is not, based simply on what we can or cannot see, have or have not personally experienced? The authors of the book go to great lengths to describe how the human eye sees and at what frequencies its limitations lie, and how many other animals see in completely different ways than we do. Can we then, only trust our eyes? What about the limitations of any of our senses?

Remember back in history when Antonie van Leeuwenhoek said there were "invisible" microorganisms in the water making people sick and was practically laughed out of town? Every new idea, every breakthrough in discovery, has always been met with debate, ridicule and denial. Humans have this nasty habit of resisting change and pushing hard against any idea that challenges the status quo. A mind is like a parachute, it only works if it's open (quote from Anthony J. D'Angelo).

In part two, I will review the book, The Orb Project.

Book Review - Still Life

I recently read Still Life by Joy Fielding. I guess it would fall into the category of mystery.

I really enjoyed it because it was a break from most of my more technical reading. I just got lost and absorbed in it, which is always a good sign.

The basic premise is this: A woman is plowed into (on foot) by a hit and run driver and her injuries are so extensive that for the majority of the book she is in a coma. But she can hear and understand EVERYTHING going on around her. And it turns out, the accident, was no accident.

I was aware of my body tension throughout reading it...how frustrating it would feel to not be able to communicate, and to be treated pretty much as if you were a non person, already dead. And it gave me new insights into how *I* would choose to behave in the room of someone who is in a coma or uncommunicative for whatever reason. It has been said for a long time that just because a body gives no outward signs of understanding, that is a poor measure for what's going on inside.

Gosh, I feel like I just did a book report for PBS Reading Rainbow!

Been busier than usual...

I've been out of the house and away from the computer more than usual this week. Which is a good thing in many ways.

I spent yesterday at a local store helping to wrap and label fizzy bath tarts in the scents of lavender, orange-vanilla, and eucalyptus. I just help out when she has a fresh batch of something she's made that she needs an extra hand or two to package. And today I'll be helping another friend learn some basic computer skills.

That's one of the things I really LOVE about not having a "real job". When somebody needs a hand, I can just GO. It is nice for me to have different types of things to do, nice to feel useful and helpful, and I'm sure it is appreciated. TIME is the hottest commodity these days, and I have lots of it baby!

I bow to my wonderful husband who supports this life!

I'll get back to writing soon.

Feed Ads have been added

Just so you know, I clicked on something with AdSense to add Feed advertising to my posts. I don't really know what that is, so apologize in advance if it's a pain in the butt...let me know.

Know that I will tell you if I like something and will give a link within the post. Any ads that show up by themselves, or that don't seem relevant exactly to what I'm talking about are no doubt placed their (by my authorization) by other advertisers.

This is how I eventually hope to generate income for the blog. You get all of my wonderful Willow Words of Wisdom for free, so if you wanna help a girl buy a new pair of shoes, click on ads from time to time that look interesting...that's how I get paid. Heck, some of them even look interesting to me, but I think I get busted if I click on the ads in my own blog (Dang! I could be rich by now!).

So keep me posted on how the blog flows for you and if the advertising is a detractor or is tolerable, or at times, *gasp*, useful.

Moving a step closer to my merger

In anticipation of the "big reveal" (because of course I will make my 1,000 reader/subscriber mark within a year!), I gave up Willow's alter ego Facebook page. Willow Brooke on facebook, is no more.

Ya know, a dual life is just too hard of work and I'm lazy. But, I'm sort of stuck with the name of this blog...sort of committed there (Unless anybody knows how to add a parenthetical aside to a blog title).

I originally created "Willow", as you may recall, just as a way to begin to feel comfortable with letting it all hang out in blog-ville. Then I created a separate (and most likely, "illegal") facebook account for her, with the thought that I could promote the blog there. I got lots of interesting "friends", but I don't think it increased readership much. So, I deleted that account this morning. Now I only have the facebook for the real me....and this blog.

It is an interesting journey to explore what it means to integrate the parts of myself, and to contemplate what it means to be as fully me as I can be.

I have a rather traditional family, on both my side and my husband's side. They wouldn't go for all this woo-woo stuff I talk about, in fact I fear I would be judged harshly, or that somebody would try to set me straight in the error of my ways in accordance with Christianity, or science or whatever. And I just wasn't ready to face that.

I only share the real me rarely. And does it mean I'm ashamed? Not really, or at least I don't think so. It means I'm very sensitive to rejection and judgement. If they find out all the stuff I really think...what happens then?

I am far from living in my own truth. Only with very select and trusted people....and on the world wide web as long as I can hide behind another name. I have a long journey of integration ahead of me. It's a process.

There is also the process of allowing others to be who THEY are (even in opposition to me), and to let them deal with their own feelings about that. For example, I will have to let go of their concern that I've gone public with my "weirdness" and that somehow, they think this reflects on, or besmirches THEIR image. I'll have to be ready to let them deal with that on their own. I won't be talking about THEM, so really, what would be the beef? But I know them. Or I think I do.

Do we sell people short and decide FOR them what they can handle and learn to adjust to based on our own fear? I bet so. The truth, as I'm always telling clients, is somewhere in the middle.

I do want to "speak my truth" and "live my truth" and "be myself". I'm finding it more difficult than I might have ever imagined. I grew up as a people pleaser (accept when I was just being rebellious and contrary)...see? The truth, is always in the middle somewhere.

Journey Schmirney! Bahhhhh! Oui!

Dang! Foiled Again!

I thought I was a little genius. On the days I felt like posting, I posted a bunch of stuff and then just saved it. On the days I didn't feel like posting, I would just pull up one of my saved posts and post it for real. Seemed like a stroke of pure enlightenment. Until this morning when I realized that they still retain the date that I wrote/saved them, not the date I post them. So they will not appear in the current day post, but will be posted back a ways. Make sense? I think that stinks! Now there are about 5 of them I went ahead and posted today that you'll have to go looking for to find to see if you've read them or not. Damn!

Update on the Epilator. I finally figured out a plan. Why didn't I think of this before??? The best way to get results from the little torture device is to imbibe rot-gut moonshine, pop a few Oxycontin, and bite on a broom handle. Works like a charm! Now I'm hair free and feeling fine! I think I broke a tooth though.

What I NEED to do is embrace my inner hippie, my green, environmental side. God made us with hair right? So who decides that we must be hairless? Stupid-ass men? Perhaps we should start a movement that other than hair head, women AND men should be hair-free. That would get us off the hook in no time! I guarantee you, that if the earth only had women on it, we would all be hairy, and fat...and happy. I'm working on embracing my natural self...it's a process.

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Hair Removal: The Saga Part 3: Electric Shavers and Yankers (and creams)

Have you been following along in my saga?  Hair Removal:  The Saga part 1, Razors, Hair Removal the Saga Part 2, Waxing and now, for your reading enjoyment, part three: electric shavers, yankers and burners.

I guess before I get into those items I should mention hair removal creams. They smell like perms and about all they do for me is bend the hair (sort of like perming my leg hair), and irritate the crap out of my skin. They don't work for me. They barely even intimidate the hair. Nuf said. They suck. "Who Wears Short Shorts, We Wear Short Shorts, Well if you Dare Wear Short Shorts, Nair for Short Shorts". Bullshit. That's my song, and it's shorter.

Traditionally, it is difficult to get a close shave with an electric shaver. The benefit is that it is close enough that nobody can see the hair, and not so close that you end up with razor burn or other skin irritation. Another benefit is that if you stick with it, over time the hair gets softer and finer and not so course and noticeable. But the problem still remains, no close shave, and too frequent of upkeep. The one I use (since I've pretty much given up on razors), is the Panasonic Wet/Dry. Only I have never used it wet. I did some checking on consumer ratings online and this one came in with higher marks than most.



Then there is the dreaded Epilators or hair yankers. The ads should be outlawed, as they describe painless hair removal and that you will feel a tingling sensation. Tingling my ASS! I used mine today and got through the lower legs and had to stop. The sweat was running, I was feeling weak and shaky, and I feared if I went on, the paramedics would find me later in my t-shirt and underpants, laying on my bedroom floor with the epi-beast still running, and I would still have hairy legs. I had forgotten I knew that many swear words! The brand I have is the Emjoi (which sure as hell better not mean "Enjoy" in French! It also has printed in beautiful script on the side "Sin Dolor", which in Spanish means "without pain". Oh COME ON!!! You've GOT to go to the website and take a look at how they advertise them, it's a "sin" alright, but not "sin dolor"!



The way these babies work is they have multiple spinning tweezers. It looks like an electric shaver, but as you move it around your skin, it yanks the hair out. Sometimes by the roots, and sometimes sadly, they just hurt like hell and break off, leaving you with stubble.

I bought one years ago. Tried it a few times and after breaking a sweat just working on a one inch square near my ankle, finally threw it out. Years passed, I forgot, I bought another one. At least I've saved this one, so I can give it a go from time to time. Today I made it further than I EVER have; I used it to yank out all the hair from toes to just above my knees...on BOTH legs! WOOT! I am Sheerah!

HOWEVER, they don't' feel smooth, they feel stubbly. I used the electric on my upper legs and bikini area (yeah, like I'll ever be caught dead in one of THOSE [a bikini] again in this lifetime!), and I'll use it on my forearms, which don't require much attention or very often.

I don't like razor shaving because I only have a shower and I have legs that are about 10 feet long, and I always run out of hot water and then there's hair all over the place. I miss a close shave, but I'm going to keep experimenting. Maybe by the time I'm 90, I'll have really sexy smooth legs...but nobody will want to look at or touch them.

To recap: For me: The combination of having waxed for a period of months, followed by only using an electric shaver for a period of months, has contributed to finer, softer, less noticeable hair and fewer hairs overall. So my thought was, if I could stand the damn iron maiden of all hair removers; the epilator, maybe over time there will be even less, and finer. That's my hope. I'm going to give it a go and see what happens. I'm just glad today is over and I won't have to do any yanking for a little while. Son of a biscuit eater that hurts!

December 3, 2009 Update:
I used the epilator monster again today. Since this original post, I just let the hair grow. This time, there are fewer hairs and I think they released a bit easier because the pain was not nearly so intense as before. It still hurts, but it was bearable, and didn't require liquor and drugs. At this point, I'm only doing from toes to knees with the great yanker and using the electric shaver on my upper legs/bikini area. Maybe I'll ease into using it on my upper legs.

I have no idea if it is the type of contraption I purchased (a cheap one), or if it is just the nature of how they work or my hair/body, but I would not say it leaves you smooth. It leaves you bumpy, like plucked chicken skin, and the hairs that break off are nubby. And you have to make many passes over a single hair sometimes to get it to be grabbed by the hair-inator. I'll keep you posted. Cuz I'm sure, inquiring minds like ours want to know!

January 11, 2011

Oye, it's really been a year since I updated this.  I wish I could tell you that I've made great strides.  I investigated another new product called the No-No and it is the latest and greatest in hair removal.  It is a similar home-version unit to those spa treatments of light/heat that burns the hair follicle and eventually kills it.  When I worked in an office where an office mate used it in her business, it often smelled strongly of burned hair.  Ewww! 

However, this little unit costs about $275 and that is too rich for my blood.  I would try it if somebody would give it to me, but otherwise, nope...just can't.

So, I continue a combo approach to my hair removal:  It's winter...so I go LONG stretches just letting it grow.  Who cares?  And I use a razor like the Mach III for underarms in the shower, and sometimes I sit on the edge of the sink and use aloe gel and water and shave from the knee down.  Sometimes I sit on the floor over a bath towel and use the electric razor.  I've found that seems to be my best option for areas above the knee get a close enough shave there.  And I still have little practice session battles with the epilator.  I had one today, which is why I'm updating.  The last time I shaved, I shaved from the knee down on one leg with the electric, and the other leg from the knee down with the epilator (or Sin Dolor).  I wanted to A. only endure the pain for a short period of time and B. compare one leg to the other.

The epilator breaks off many of the hairs (but still hurts anyway) and pulls out the others.  I did notice after a few weeks of going "au natural" that the hair on the epilator leg was much more sparse.  So that's good news right?

So today, I did the upper leg with the electric and both lower legs with the epilator.  Good Golly Miss Molly that smarts!  And leaves red irritation and welts.  And it really takes a long time.  It took me nearly an hour two do both lower legs!  You have to keep going over the same areas to get all the hair.

I think, if I stay with this approach...to use the epilator when I can stand to, that eventually, over a period of eons, it will be less painful as there will be less hair growing back each time.  Heaven knows if I will ever get it to where I can quickly go over ALL of both legs, forearms and underarms with the damn torture device.  But I think with an epilator, it is a process and you're in it for the big picture, long haul vs the quick/instant fix.  Ultimately I want to go longer periods without messing with it, and have less and less hair over time.  Legs as smooth as a baby's butt are really not a big deal to me.

So I'll keep at it and post again when you least suspect it.

Hair Removal: The Saga Part 2: Waxing

Raise your hand if you've ever waxed.

I've worked out a pretty good system for waxing my eyebrows and my little old lady mustache. I like No Tweeze that I can buy in a small container from my beautician. It's what they use, so why not bring it on home and save myself some money.


I heat it on low on the stove and keep a close eye on it. It should be heated to about the consistency of loose peanut butter. Any looser and you'll find it too hot, any stiffer and it won't stick. I put a tiny dab of powder on the area to be waxed (to keep the wax from ripping off skin), spread a bit of the wax on with the flat end of an orange stick (those things that you're supposed to use to push back your cuticles but nobody actually uses). And I just do a bit at a time.

The key here is to not let the wax harden...then it is REALLY hard to get off (unless you reheat it with a hair dryer or something...and don't ask me how I know). Gently push the wax in place in the direction of the hair growth, and then grabbing one end, keeping the skin taut, rip it off in the opposite direction of hair growth. I don't recommend doing this right before you have someplace to be because you will have red marks everywhere the wax was. It's a shock to your system I guess. All it takes is a few failed attempts, a few burns, and you'll eventually get the hang of it. Or have your beautician do it for you and watch her like a hawk for tips before trying it on your own.

I would say, don't use this on your legs or anywhere else. Once, because I'm an idiot, I put a giant patch of it right at the bikini line, I mean a big patch of it, about the size of a pancake. And then it hardened while I was trying to figure out how to endure the pain of ripping it out. I honestly thought I was going to have to go to the ER and explain myself. Just don't. Trust me on this.

As for store-bought waxing preparations, I've tried them all, so won't bother listing brands. I've tried ones with cloth strips, and cold wax kits and hot wax kits and ones that have the wax already on the strips. Save your money, or PLEASE tell me which ones you've used that worked for you. What I find is that either they only pull out about two hairs, or, they pull of skin too.

I was having my husband help me wax my forearms (yeah, in my old age, they are starting to grow woolly dark hair) with a kit that you heated this roll-on thing in a little warmer, rolled it on and then used cloth strips. He didn't want to help. It freaked him out. I said, "oh, come on, don't be a weenie, I'm the one going to feel the pain". So he cowboyed up and gave it a go. We got everything in place and I said, now just rip it off. OK...this was one of those brands that adhered like Super-Glue. I was missing some skin, and he almost fainted. It's really funny NOW.

OK, so that sucked. On to salon waxing. I had a friend that I shared office space with and we did trades. In exchange for relaxing energy sessions, she was willing to wax me from stem to stern (now I'm thinking this doesn't sound like such a fair trade). So I booked an appointment to have armpits, top and bottom of legs, and bikini area and some of my furry bumm. Good thing I'm blogging with an alias, because this is WAY too much information about my Chia Pet hair growth! Of course if we get those subscriptions up to 1,000 I've promised to tell who I am. I guess THEN, I'll have to change my name legally to something else! ANYWAY...

This took a little over an hour. Of intense physical pain. It triggered my fight or flight, and an adrenalin surge. Afterward I felt like I had drank 10 pots of coffee and my blood sugar was low. It F'ing HURT! And...we must have had some sort of misunderstanding...because I ended up with a Brazilian wax. For those not familiar with that, a bikini wax removes any hair that would show if you wore a bikini. A Brazilian wax removes about 80% of your pubic hair. After the first "RIP!" I was sort of committed. Now I know some people like this look, but I'm older and chubby. I looked like a fat 10 year old. I wouldn't even let my husband see it! You know how the dog hides after a bad trip to the groomer?? That would be me. Plus did I mention it hurt??

Afterward, she said "You were really tough, most people can't handle doing it all in one session, most people have to come and do lower legs, then upper legs, then armpits, then bikini..." and I'm like "WHAT???? WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THIS???"

The result? Lots of raised bumps, ingrown hair, and a bunch of missed hair. Not the smooth sexy sleek look I was hoping all that pain would render. Not one to be a sissy, I kept going every 5 weeks for maybe 6 months before I gave up. It never got any less painful, it never was smooth, it never kept me from having to shave.

One thing I will say, is some time later, I do notice that I have fewer hairs, and they are finer. But I'm like Chewbaca the Wookie and it's dark hair and it grows back fast. I probably have three hairs per pore. So yeah, I think I'm done with waxing.

And I'm not going to try laser or the new light therapy hair removal. In part due to cost, and in part, I'm not convinced that that is a safe thing to do to that many pores of your body. I gotta draw the line somewhere. I mean, give me some credit for enduring a Brazilian!

Next, I'll touch on electric shavers and the ever looming Epilady. Here's a fun youtube video about Brazilian waxing...don't worry, it doesn't show any private bits.

Hair Removal: The Saga

As I was using my Epilady, this morning, I got to thinking about all the ways in which I've attempted hair removal over the years. So I thought...Hey, I'll do a saga and review of hair removal techniques. And you all chime in with your own stories.

For starters, I have to say I'm a poor girl, so none of the high end spa treatments have been part of my experience. I'm just going to cover the ones I've used.

My first attempts at shaving were in the bathtub, with the edge of the soap dish. I would lather up with soap, and use the edge of the soap dish to scrap off the soap, pretending to shave. I was probably in about 3rd grade. I couldn't wait for that womanly right of passage...to shave my legs!

And I don't really remember when my first shave was, perhaps in 6th or 7th grade, I don't really remember. Back then, the choice was an electric (that we didn't have and couldn't afford) or my mom's razor, which was called a safety razor, I think. Nothing save about it. You put an actual razor blade into it. It looked like this sort of:

Then in the 70's we graduated so such things as the flicker, which was this cute little shaver in a new shape with five or so blades that you would rotate through:



Then of course, who could forget the Bic disposables and all the ones that came after. Always on the lookout for the ever elusive super close shave minus the razor burn. I also tried the Schick Intuition. A handy little razor with a bar of soap built right on. Only you could only get a very few shaves before one side of the soap went flat, and you couldn't reverse it, so it was too expensive for the number of shaves you could get out of it:


Now my favorite, by far, of all blade style razors is the men's, Mach III.

It gives a close shave, the blade lasts well, it has a slime strip that coats and glides the blade over the skin. And don't get the girly version, because they don't work quite as well, and if you compare the shaver and the replacement blades are slightly more expensive on the girlie version than the guy version.

HOWEVER, my hair grows back like a chia pet, or a play dough hair factory and I hate blade shaving for time, irritation, expense etc. Within an hour, like getting hungry from Chinese food, my legs are hairy again. The standing joke at our house is, "quick, feel my legs before it grows back!" And the replacement blades are freakin' EXPENSIVE! So, onward toward a better solution. More to come in the saga...next I'll look at electric ways, and waxy ways and I have not ruled out becoming a hippie.

Making Thanksgiving a Personalized, Creative and Memorable Day

If you haven't already gathered from my previous articles, I'm spiritually eclectic. So I don't imagine it would surprise you to know I can be irreverent when it comes to holidays. For the most part, celebration of holidays has fallen by the wayside as a weary by-product of increasing commercialism and the frenzy of preparation continued to ratchet to proportions that eventually made them, "un-fun".

When you couple picky eaters, a kitchen the size of most campers and very little time off, it didn't take me too many years to have a light bulb moment., "Hey, I don't have to do it like my family did it, or like everyone else does it!. DOINK! *slap to the forehead* I could have had a V-8!"

I had a kid who didn't like turkey. And mashed potatoes were a texture thing; they made him gag. And my culinary skills were lacking and my love of football non-existent. We would typically prefer to have our fingernails removed one at a time, slowly, than to "entertain guests" or go to someone else's house to hang out with a bunch of people we didn't really feel like hanging out with, eat too much, stay longer than we wanted and watch football politely when it made us want to, well, back to that fingernail scenario. Hmmm, so what could we do to create a new tradition at our house, something everyone would like? Hang on to your seats, I'm about to rock your traditional world. We had a meeting of the creative minds. And this was what we came up with:

The day before Thanksgiving, we go to Papa Murphy's and buy the pizzas of our choice, go to Blockbuster and rent a STACK of movies, and buy candy. The tradition usually entailed black licorice and fireballs (my son's choosing). Then when Thanksgiving arrived it was pretty much treated like a Saturday. Get up when ready, relax, do a little more relaxing. Eventually, when somebody says they're hungry, we bake a pizza. We would also sometimes fold out the hide-away bed and lay on that to eat and watch movies. Whoever had the package of candy would throw it to, (or at), those who wanted another piece. Everybody was happy. There were no dishes to speak of, no cooking, no scenes from relatives, neighbors or friends; just us. It became OUR tradition. People scoffed, people gasped. Who cares? We were happy.

The boy is grown and too far away to return home for Thanksgiving. What will our empty nest tradition be? We kept up with the pizza and movie theme for a while, but I'm ready to switch it up a bit. How about grilled New York steaks and some really good Tillimook Mudslide ice cream? Oh yeah, and don't forget that stack of movies.

Be honest, Thanksgiving was originally about Pilgrims thanking Indians for helping them to survive a long winter in the new land they eventually took from them...not something I'm keen on celebrating. It has grown to be more about a day off, eating too much, football, and hanging out with people (sometimes people you like and sometimes not), followed by the biggest Christmas shopping day of the year. Cynical? Me? I like to think, I'm honest and realistic. Creating traditions that make your heart sing is where it's at. Keeping the focus on gratitude makes sense, and making it your own; making it a sacred and spiritual day filled with what fits your style and the unique needs of YOUR family. And if giant gatherings, pumpkin pie, turkey, stuffing, yams with marshmellows and the like float your boat, enjoy!

Do you have any non-traditional Thanksgiving practices? I would love to hear them! And if you think THIS is weird, remind me later to tell you about a make-shift Chanukah-style Christmas tradition sure to keep even bi-polar and ADHD kids from losing their minds while they wait for Santa! But you have to remember to ask when it's closer to Christmas.

Tincture Making 101; Just the Basics

This is LONG, so don't bother reading it unless this really interests you. This is the information from the handout I created for a class I will be teaching on tincture making.

Tincture Making 101: Just the Basics


*Tincture making isn’t rocket science. It’s been around for hundreds of years and just isn’t that complicated. It can also be VASTLY less expensive to make your own; 80-90% cheaper! And there are many resources available to assist and I will include some of them here.

*Your up-front expenditures will be the greatest because you’ll need herbs, bottles, jars, tincture bottles and alcohol (or glycerin, which is more expensive). But once you have all of your containers, you will be set forever and will only need to purchase organic herbs and alcohol.

*The most important thing and the most complicated thing about it is doing the research. You can find everything you need in books and on the web and you don’t have to be a master herbalist to make basic tinctures for your medicinal needs. I would not encourage you to sell them because this could have legal ramifications.

*Since it is cold and flu season, the tincture I’ve chosen for our class is Echinacea. This herb is known for its immune-boosting properties. And this tincture will be: much more economical, fresher, absorbed more easily and quickly by the body, is more potent than herbal tablets, and less expensive than store-bought herbal tinctures.

*The basic supplies are:
o 100 proof alcohol (100 proof Vodka, Everclear, or other grain alcohol…cheap is fine). Larger jugs are generally more economical per ounce.

o 16 oz storage bottles. I use the amber ones shown, but you can improvise with any secure lidded jar or bottle.

o Tincture bottles with eye dropper lids. You can recycle old ones you may have on hand or ask people for theirs that they would throw out anyway. Sterilize any used container prior to use, and rinse even new glass containers with warm soap and water prior to use.

o Jars of varying sizes. I use 2 quart and one quart Ball canning jars but you can use whatever you want or have on hand. A secure lid is key.

o Organic herbs. I’ve included a catalog for a source from Eugene, Mountain Rose Herbs but you can use any source you like. Mountain Rose is also a good source for bottles of all types. You can find them on the web at www.mountainroseherbs.com

o A screen-type strainer

o Unbleached coffee filters

o Labels. I really like to first use post it notes for my early jars, and then removable address labels for finished jars. I don’t like soaking off labels so I like the removable type. I got mine at Staples and they are “Multiuse labels, print & write removable”, white, 1 ½ inch by 4 inch, same size as template 5075. Once I print my final labels, before detaching them from the page, I place clear scotch tape over the printing so that they stay fresher longer and won’t smudge with spills or fingers. If you have a laser printer, this may not be an issue.

o Something to stir with. I use a very long handled plastic cooking spoon and I actually use the handle end, not the spoon end for mixing the tinctures in their jars. Some people claim you have to shake and agitate the tinctures daily. Sometimes canning jar lids when not sealed can leak. I stir them, and I don’t care if I do it every day or not. The alcohol is doing the work, not me.

o A set of cheap varied size funnels.

*How to Make Tinctures:
o Watch a couple of online YouTube videos if you can first. Mountain Rose makes quite a few. Just go to www.youtube.com and search Mountain Rose Herbs, or tincture-making and you’ll find plenty of information.

o Research the tincture you want to make. Starting with a basic, one-herb tincture will be less complicated. A really good book is the Therapeutic Herb Manual by Ed Smith, which you could get from the author’s business at Herb Pharm in Eugene, Oregon, or from their great website at http://herb-pharm.com/ Herb Pharm are makers of herbal tinctures, so are not a great resource on how to make tinctures. Premade tinctures are the products they sell. They make excellent premade tinctures and Ed Smith’s book is only $3.95 and has a lot of information about which herbs do what. Mountain Rose, on the other hand, sells the herbs and supplies, so are more than happy to teach you how to use them.

o Recipe: herbs, booze, time. Yup, that’s it.

o The typical measurement for making about 16 oz of finished tincture is to put about 4 oz of organic herb into a quart jar, and then fill with alcohol (NOT rubbing alcohol, but 100 proof grain alcohol purchased at the liquor store, and 100 proof not the typical 80 proof). I say use an “average of 4 oz” because you will soon find that not all herbs are created equal in the volume department. 4 oz of Milk thistle seed for example will easily fit this equation, however, 4 oz of Usnea is like a fluffy moss and 4 oz is very bulky and simply not possible to cram in a jar. So the basic rule of thumb I use is do not fill your jar more than half full with herb. You will also learn over time that some herbs really swell and pack in the jar once saturated and some never do. If your jar gets two jam-packed, simply divide it into two jars and add more vodka. This really is not rocket science and the amounts are not crucial. I doubt you will make it too potent, and it is best not to make it too weak or what’s the point, right? Adjust your dosages later for body tolerance.

o As stated before, some people swear you need to agitate the mixture daily, and I say you can stir it once in a while over its “brewing” cycle.

o Online I found a variant that one leaves the herbs brewing for only two weeks, and others sources say a month. So, since I’m paying for these herbs and supplies and doing all this work, I opt for a month just to be sure I’ve sucked every juicy benefit from my herbs.

o After the month, first drain herbs through the screen sieve into a bowl or pot (best to avoid plastic because these are potent and will stain and stink). And if possible, do the whole thing outdoors to avoid your house smelling. Clean up any spills. This is probably the most labor intensive part of this easy process.

o After the first quick straining, I dump the herbs in my garden to compost (but I don’t put it directly touching plants, I let them sit on top for a while so the alcohol can dissipate before mulching in). This way you get a little extra bang for your buck from your herbs…compost!

o Next, take a funnel with a large size tip, but still small enough to fit into the neck of your 16 oz storage bottle or jar, and place a coffee filter in it. Try to hang on to the filter because sometimes when you first pour the tincture into it, it may want to collapse on itself. Pour the strained herb tincture through the coffee filter directly into your storage bottle. Some herbs take a really long time to go through, and you may need to change your filter frequently. Some just breeze right through. Now take your new tincture and with a tiny funnel, put some in a dropper bottle for your personal use. Cap all tightly. LABEL them immediately so you know what they are!!!

o If you have any trouble getting the smell or stain out of your containers, use hot water and a bit of bleach and let them soak, then run them through a dishwasher if you have one.

*Dosage:
o The typical dosages for tinctures is 1-2 droppers full (by that I mean, pinch the dropper and whatever sucks into it is a single dropper full), 1-2 times a day, or up to 3-5 times a day during acute phase of illness.

o If you are taste sensitive, squirt these droppers into about an inch of water or juice before swallowing. They can taste really bad!

o If you are new to tincture use, or have a very sensitive system, start with less and work your way up, finding the dose that is just right for your body. Don’t think that taking a bunch is good, better, or safe. Don’t exceed those basic guidelines. Herbs are potent, especially in this concentrated form.

o Check body tolerance. If you have any adverse reaction, quit taking it. Use common sense. Typically, the worst you will notice is some nausea, and perhaps loose stool. Adjust dose accordingly. I’m not a doctor, herbalist, naturopath or any other type of health care professional. I’m not diagnosing or treating any specific disease. I’m just sharing the basic information that is in multiple public sources.

o A typical one ounce dropper bottle, taken two droppers full, twice daily will last approximately 2 weeks which is a good basic cycle. You can repeat cycles every 3 months or so for preventative/detoxifying type herbal tinctures, or use some herbal tinctures as needed (for example, Valerian, taken like Tylenol as needed for pain). It’s always good to let the body rest and process on its own now and then.

*Later on, when you’re more comfortable, you can experiment with blends. There are many books and online sources for these, or get brave and just create your own. Again, I use the equation of approximately equal parts of most dry herbs without filling the jar more than half full. When using any recipe that calls for ground herbs (like cayenne, or cinnamon), use their measurements.

*I’m not sharing my recipes in writing here because I am making them and using them and assuming the personal or potential risk of doing so. You will learn on your own by doing and researching what tincture varieties suit your family’s needs. Verbally, however, I’m likely to share just about anything you want to hear.

Basics
o Why alcohol? Because it extracts the plant constituents most effectively and gives you a dosage that is readily absorbable by the body. The amount of alcohol you ingest is miniscule. The human body makes its own alcohol daily from the foods you eat.

o Glycerin: You can make tinctures for children or alcoholics using liquid glycerin instead of alcohol, and some herb recipes (like things for calming the tummy) will call for them to be made from glycerin. It is a more expensive product and can also be purchased from Mountain Rose Herbs. I’m unclear (this would take some added checking) if glycerin extracts the herbs just as efficiently.

o Eventually: You may wish to branch out and make herbal infused oils, salves, liniments etc. Follow the process of researching in books or online.

o Storage: due to the alcohol content, your tinctures are unlikely to freeze, but since it would make a mess, I only store the “brewing” herbs in the garage during non-freezing weather. The amber or blue bottles help to protect the tinctures from light. Store any unused, dry organic herb in the freezer to prolong the shelf-life. Your herbal tinctures last indefinitely due to the preserving nature of the alcohol, but store them away from light and extreme temperatures for maximum potency.

o Feel free to share this information with others! Just be clear that it comes from a lay person, just like yourself, just sharing what I do, not making any claims to safety or giving professional advice. Consider it “old wives” information.
o Feel free to contact me with questions

I posted these photos before...but here they are again :-)

I made use of some old spice racks. My Dad made these eons ago, and I just repainted them and hung them on the wall. It gives me four shelves for tinctures that are just the right size and the plexiglass strips (instead of wood) make it easy to read the labels!


And these are my most recent creations. These are the 16 oz amber bottles that I fill the 1 oz tincture bottles from. I still have a few more to make before I feel like my collection covers everything I want to.

Letter to a Serial Killer

Last summer, a local man was arrested in connection with three drug related murders. He was high on meth, and in a drug related turn of events, he strangled, and then dismembered a woman, then killed two people he felt were potential witnesses. He admitted to all, plead guilty, and was sentenced to three consecutive life sentences without the possibility of appeal/parole or to financially benefit from selling his story. My heart is heavy and in a surprising way...these are my thoughts:

November 10, 2009
Dear Greg,

Ever since I first became aware of the murders in our community and your subsequent arrest, I can’t begin to tell you the depth of the grief and sadness I have felt; for the victims, for the relatives of the victims, for you, and for those who love you.

I know there has been much hatred thrown in your direction. It seems to be how we humans deal with things sometimes, and I can’t promise that if it was MY loved one who had been murdered, that I wouldn’t feel the same.

My attitude and understanding of what makes people do what they do has evolved over the course of my lifetime. Right now I see loss, waste, the end for those victims, and the end to your freedom. I hope it is not the end to your redemption. Regardless of what anyone says, there is forgiveness for anything. That is not to say that there are still not substantial penalties and consequences, but I don’t believe that God makes trash.

You don’t know me Greg, but we met a time or two. Once, when my mother and I were walking past your house, we stopped to talk to you about your sweet little dog. That dog was so mellow and obedient, and we talked about how my mother’s dog, which was the same breed, was a wild thing. We spoke briefly on a few other occasions because I was with the group of community members that was building the labyrinth on the property near your home.

I distinctly remember thinking to myself, how I should remember to not judge a book by its cover. You had that wild, bad-boy, charming, charismatic air to you…shirtless, taned and tattooed. That look that said “he’s dangerous, beware”. But in talking to you, I found you to be soft spoken, polite, and there were no alarm bells that went off. I was left to reconsider how I judge people by their appearance. I liked you. And, even, after all of this, I would feel safe in your presence (if you were clean and sober, that is).

I don’t believe you to be a monster. It is so hard to know that drugs changed your personality so much that these acts came into being, and that regardless of the drug’s impact on your brain and behavior, the outcome is still the same, still yours to live with. I just feel sad beyond sad that the choices you made led you so far from who you wanted to be.

Of course rumors fly in this community, and people talk that your upbringing was hard, that it is no wonder this ended up happening. But there were others who said, that despite having some really tough breaks, they thought you might just make it and rise above them. And then this unspeakable set of events happened.

I have a son, age 25, who is mentally ill. I know his heart. I also know that under the right circumstances, he would be capable of murder. So I know that things are not always as cut and dried, good or evil as people make them out to be. Life is complicated. What a world where such things need even be contemplated.

I forgive you. I know you may not hear that much, and it still won’t change the outcome. This is a bell that cannot be un-rung. I don’t know what is possible for you, but it would seem that even in the confines of life behind bars, there is hope. There is still work to be done, still rebuilding that can take place, even within the confinement you face. It is my understanding that you cannot profit from selling your story, but perhaps it would be possible to give all profits from interviews, or your story or movie (or whatever ends up unfolding), to the victims’ families, or to law enforcement, or to drug rehabilitation and education programs. There is work you can still do.

You can work on healing your old wounds and your new ones. If therapy is an option in prison, get it. Read, explore spirituality that speaks to you. You will have opportunity to spend time in silence; see what is there for you. What are your next steps even faced with such confinement.

I am sorry for your friends and family and for that little dog who will miss you. I feel the loss of YOUR life as acutely as I feel the loss of the lives of your victims. No doubt, THEY have already found peace. You must find yours. There are no throw-away people. God (whatever form that may take for you) has a purpose for your life. Use what you have. Work from where you are. Heal yourself and educate others.

My heart is sick and sad at the totality of the losses involved. I will hold you in thought and prayer, along with those who died at your hands, and those who are left to suffer the agony of those losses. May you find peace and know that you are held in God’s loving hands. “He” has not rejected you. Go to the place of refuge and listen, listen deeply for the next steps of your life.

Thanks For The Little Things (and the not so little)

One Thanksgiving, I sat down to reflect on the age-old question of what I am thankful for. It is harder than you might think to go beyond the traditional, surface items such as family and good health. Once I went deeper, I realized it is often the more specific and smaller kindnesses that I remember most.

I remember an employer (that I didn’t like very much) and the wife of a friend of my husband’s, who arrived at a moment’s notice to help me relocate in a matter of hours when I was in a dangerous, domestic violence situation. They didn’t ask questions, they just came, packed and moved me at warp speed. That same boss showed up with a mattress when he discovered that I was sleeping on the floor with only a blanket.

There was a landlord who lowered the rent and eliminated the deposit so that I could afford to move in and who worked to find me a place on the same day that I fled my home. There was a landlord who didn’t evict me when the rent was past due, the pixie who left occasional $20 bills in my mailbox and a dentist who made a house call after my wisdom teeth had been removed. The same dentist showed up with a bag of groceries from time to time just because he “saw this stuff and thought I might be able to use it”. There have been a whole slew of dedicated doctors and other professionals who have offered me their services at reduced cost, on flexible payment schedules and most often, completely free so that I could receive needed treatment.

I remember countless friends and family members who have stepped in to bring food, clean my house, baby-sit or transport us during times of illness, poverty and/or great stress. There was a professor who didn’t fail a paper that I couldn’t complete; a friend and brother-in-law who came to intervene when my young, bi-polar child was having a dangerous, destructive rage; employers who have trusted me with flexible work hours and with working from home as I have struggled to single-parent a special needs child. All seemingly small gestures to the giver, but all can still reduce me to tears.

Before I started dating my current husband (and I wasn’t even interested in having a boyfriend), he showed up one day and asked if I had ever found that tiny, baseball mitt that I had been trying to find for my left-handed son. I said I hadn’t and he produced one from behind his back and sheepishly said when asked that he had “just sort of found it”. Not only had he been listening to my casual (and often incessant) chatter, but he had located a difficult-to locate, dearly-wanted item for my child. I tried really hard not to, but I fell in love with him right then and there.

My heart was touched with gratitude by the elderly, distant, friend-of-the-family who called to provide me with a full scholarship to graduate school and my sister and another friend who stepped up to the plate and offered free childcare for my challenging child so I could attend classes. An acquaintance from childhood sent me a surprise check to help with textbook expenses. There were countless others who cheered me on as I struggled through undergraduate and graduate school and held me up when I wanted to quit.

These people will never fully comprehend how much I appreciate them, and how important their contribution has been to my life. I doubt I will ever be able to repay any of them, but I remember something my grandfather said to me: “You don’t have to pay me back; just do the same for your children and for others you come in contact with…that will repay me”. My odd old grandfather greatly impacted me with his words. The woman who gave me the scholarship said “When I desperately wanted to go to college, I remember asking this rich, elderly woman who gave away scholarship money for one. She said she didn’t give school money to girls because they would just get married and waste her money. I’ve been paying her back for refusing me by putting women through college ever since”.

The random acts of kindness shown to me haven’t made my life an easy one. Life is tough…no way around that. What they have done is made the tough times bearable and have kept me mindful of the impact I can have with even small gestures. I realized that if everyone were all to pass on kindness and helpfulness when possible, and to our individual capacity, we repay those who have served us. We connect each other as a family and continue the circle of giving by passing kindness along to the next person, the next generation. Long after I have forgotten the best present I ever received, I will remember the hands offered to me when I needed them most and endeavor to offer my own.


This Thanksgiving I am grateful for:
• The food I eat; because I remember laying on a couch to conserve energy, when I was newly married in 1979, and rationing saltines and grape jelly because that’s all we had.
• The roof over my head; small as it is, because I remember being homeless and living in a van with my X husband.
• The luxury of clean, running and especially HOT water, because I remember when I had to go to the YMCA for a shower, and not very often at that.
• My car; because I remember using a stroller, in the dead of winter, to balance groceries on, with a baby in tow, and how hard it is to push wheels through deep snow.
• My husband; because I remember what it was like to live with a spouse who hit me, cheated on me, and scared me.
• My spirituality; because even though it is different from that of many people, it sustains me in the good times and in the bad.
• My son; because even though he suffers with mental illness, he has taught me more than I will ever learn from anyone else, and he grew me to be stronger than I ever thought I could be. I see the world differently because of him. I am a little less judgmental, and hopefully a lot more tolerant and compassionate.
• For those who give with no expectation for anything in return, and for me when I am able to offer the same.
• A new day every 24 hours. A new chance to start again, to improve, to grow, to get better, give more, love more.
• I’m grateful that no matter how bad I’ve ever had it, I’ve had it so much better than so many others. May I never forget how good I have it, even in my worst times.
Between now and Thanksgiving, and throughout the holiday season, how many things can you notice that you are truly grateful for, and how many times can you remember to express your genuine gratitude to those around you?


The print above is entitled "Migrant Mother" taken by Dorthea Lang during the great depression. Below are some uplifting YouTube clips to get your gratitude jump-started.

Stand by Me (and I am enjoying my purchase of the CD/DVD set)
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And no matter what is going on, no matter where you are, you can always DANCE!
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And, COME ON....Who doesn't need a hug???
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