Learn To Love And Accept Yourself.
Cuz, ya know, if I ever master that, all the other resolutions I've ever made will fall into place. I don't mean the type of stagnant self acceptance that says I am what I am and will never change or grow or improve. I mean the kind of self love and acceptance that realizes I am a work in progress and that I have no standard to live up to. I came into this world perfectly lovable and acceptable and remain so forever. I don't need to prove anything to anybody or look a certain way or earn a certain amount or give a certain chunk of my time, efforts or money. I don't have to conform to an image that someone else created as perfection. We are all perfection at our core.
I want to look in the mirror and see what's inside.
I want to feel good about my body.
I want to take good care of my health.
I want contentment, happiness, peace.
I want a whole lot of things, but if I can master self acceptance and self love...doesn't that take care of all of the other wants? Suddenly, there is no need to spend a new year's wish on how I look, on losing weight, on exercising more. If I love and accept myself, I will naturally take good care of me...not to achieve a look but to maintain health out of self care.
Sure I want to improve, to get better, to be nicer, to be more accepting of all beings. I want to be truly, and internally FREE of what other people think about me. But doesn't it start with and end with how I love and accept me? Don't all other things flow from there? If I beat myself up for not meeting an expectation, isn't that just another form of self loathing?
Some of these thoughts come from the deep impact of that book I just read and reviewed yesterday, The Short Bus. I've been doing some self beating. I want it to be my goal to love and accept me. If I do that, I sense I will also, miraculously and suddenly also love and accept all others...for who and what and where they are right now. Not the kind of fake love that says "I love all my brethren, because I'm supposed to, in order to live by a preconceived set of rules", but the kind of love that is the natural base and way of things when you strip away all the bullshit.
Do I expect to get there in a year? PFFFFTTT!! PU-LEEZE! This is a lifetime, everyday, forever sort of resolution. I'm in it for the long haul.
Hmmmm, but just where does one begin? As I have told clients all along, it begins with awareness. Catching myself being negative, judgmental or hard on myself or others. Next step would be to stop beating myself up when I notice I've done it. Next step would be to catch it in progress and stop it if possible, or at least decide on how I could try to do it next time. All with an attitude of acceptance for where I am in the journey. And eventually, over time, over a very long time, most likely, change my patterns and thinking by doing the things I wish I wouldn't or thinking the thoughts I wish I wouldn't a little less, and a little less and a little less. And learning slowly to replace some of that less-than-helpful, less-than-loving self talk with positive things. To learn to speak to myself as I would a beloved friend. Why can't I be a beloved friend to myself? Surely this is possible.
And to go hand in hand, since I'm an over-achiever and all, my second resolution for a lifetime would be this:
Be Present. Be Right Here, Right Now. Live in the Now of things.
Does that mean I never make an appointment or have a guidline for how I will spend my time today or tomorrow? Of course not. It means that in all things I choose, to be fully in them, and present with them. Not stuck on what I didn't do right YESTERDAY, or what someone said or did to me BACK WHEN, or on the WHAT IF's and worry of TOMORROW, or to always be rushing the WHAT IS, because of the WHAT I MUST DO NEXT.
There they are...my mission...should I choose to accept it. Luckily, this message will not self destruct in 60 seconds. I will be reminded over and over and over of my soul's calling. It gently sings over and over, just hoping I will finally hear it.