Movie Review: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Part 2

It's the end of an era.  June of 1997, the first Harry Potter book was released.  The rest, as they say, is history.  My child grew up reading these books.  I read these books and I've seen all of the movies.

As with most book adaptations, I always feel the books are better than any movie could ever be.  But I felt a loyalty to stay with what I started so many years ago.

We saw the final installation, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2.  It's all over now.  It's been amazing to see all of these actors grow and age.  Has there ever been a movie series that has kept most of it's original cast?  Truly something special happened when Harry Potter came into being.

As for this final movie.  I'm a bit stumped as to what to say about it.  To say I liked it would be wrong.  But there isn't anything inherently wrong with it, and I can just hear HP fans lining up to whip me for saying so.  This final movie is dark, and pretty much it is one long battle.  For that purpose, I can't tell you I enjoyed it.  But I guess I should have known that was all that was left...the battles.  The darkness...the struggle.  I know that truth and light won out, so that's all good.  For whatever reason, it just didn't meet with why I like to see movies.  I'm sorry...really I am...I know that makes me a failed HP fan.

I wish them all the best.  I look forward to reading something else from J.K. Rowling.  I'm sure I'll purchase the boxed DVD set.  I have all of the books.  It was and is a historical literary phenomenon that may never be matched.  And I was here (there...where ever).  The phenomenon of Twilight and Titanic pale in comparison.

Tincture for Breast Health?

I had a great question submitted by a reader:

What is a lymphagogue compound tincture? Can or will it enhance breast health?  I saw a natural health show the other day and this was suggested as a natural, safe supplement.

That's an excellent blog question! You must have been reading my mind because I was thinking...I need some more blog ideas!!!




I'll remind you, that my advice is worth what you pay for it...AND that I'm not a medical professional and can't give medical advice.  I'm not a doctor...I just play one on TV, OK?  All that stupid lawsuit related stuff out of the way, let's move on.

Did the show expound on which herbs they felt the tincture should contain?

First of all, a tincture is simply a liquid substance, usually made by soaking single or combined dry or fresh herb material in a high percentage grain alcohol to extract the medicinal compounds from the plant material.  Then it is strained and a small amount of the liquid is consumed (usually about two tiny troppers full per day).

A Lymphagogue will increase the flow of lymph fluid. The increase in fluid movement will help to cleanse the lymph system. Breast tissue and the areas under the armpit are so rich with lymphatic tissue that anything that clears, cleanses and increases the flow of fluid, will help to cleanse the area. So intuitively this makes sense. Has it been "proven medically"? I have no idea, nor would I care much. If it doesn't harm, and isn't chemical, why not? It would sure be easy to make on your own.

You would want it to be herbs shown to increase lymphatic flow, or known to be cleansers of the lymphatic system. Echinacea is one such herb...good for the immune system and clearing the ymphatic system. It would assist all organ systems, and breast tissue, rich with lymphatic tissue would be one such area.

So for me personally?  I wouldn't hesitate to use it.  I make Echinacea tincture, and it is on a regular cycle or rotation with all of the other tinctures I make.  A good rule of thumb (although advise will vary greatly) would be to take two droppers full once or twice a day for about 2 weeks to a month, then put it aside.  Repeat this cycle anywhere from once a year to 4 times a year.  It isn't usually necessary to take it all the time.  The body does the work, the herbs support the body in the process.  Your body is amazing on it's own.  Live well, eat well, avoid stuff you know is bad for you, do stuff you know is good for you, and above all, keep your life happy and as free as possible from negative stress and emotions which have been shown time and time again to suppress the immune system and contribute to disease.

Later, this same reader sent me the link to the program segment she was referring to.  You can read some brand names on some of the products they are mentioning.Visit Dr. Ramsey's website for additional information as well.

Recipe: High Protein Pancakes

Sometimes we like to have breakfast for dinner.  We like Fritatas, breakfast casseroles, bacon/eggs/pancakes and such.  However, this doesn't always leave me with enough protein to get me through the night; it can be a little to carb-heavy to maintain my blood sugar.  So we make high protein pancakes (not every time, but sometimes).

If you're picky and specific about how your pancakes have to be, or are super taste sensitive, then this might not be for you.  But, if like me, you figure, once it has syrup on it, all pancakes are pretty much equal, then you may enjoy these.  They may be healthier too (OK, forget that they might be slathered in syrup or butter or both).

I don't remember where we got this recipe.  I wish I did because I would give credit where credit is due.  Suffice to say for now, that it isn't my creation.

High Protein Pancakes
In Blender:
2 cups non or low fat cottage cheese
2 cups Egg Beaters
Enough dry oatmeal to thicken to desired consistency
dash vanilla

(you can also add blueberries during the cooking, and sometimes to this or even regular pancakes, we will add a scoop of protein powder).

Product Review: Wendy's New Berry Frosty Parfait

Recently, I was heading out in search of a cool treat.  My first thought was to drive through McDonald's and get a cone, and then I thought "Hey, I could try one of those new Wendy's Frosty Berry Parfaits" I've seen advertised at night when I'm too lazy to go out and get one!"

So I headed to Wendy's, where, low and behold, the berry parfait is not on the menu.  Anywhere.  They showed two "new" parfait choices.  Oreo and Carmel Apple.  Well, crap!  That's not what I wanted.

So I decided to try the Oreo parfait.  Boy was it tiny.  And crappy.  And poor quality.  It cost $2.69 and it might, MIGHT be 8 oz.  Not sure.  All they've done is squirt chocolate syrup in the bottom of the cup, fill it with vanilla Frosty, and pile a couple of tablespoons of crushed Oreo mix on top. That's it.  Is that a parfait?

Is it just me, or does this look small and pathetic for $2.69?

Granted, I can't give you an honest review of the berry parfait.  Be sure you find out if a new product is available in your area before getting too excited to try it.  And based on size for price, and the lack of attention to it actually being a parfait, (did I mention that even eating it immediately, it was pretty much melted and watery?), I think I'm going to pass.

It always makes me sad that print and television commercials NEVER match the reality of what you really get...and yet, that's somehow legal.  What does truth in advertising actually mean?  Anything?

When was the last time that trying a product you saw advertised met or exceeded your expectation?  I can't remember when.

Here's a short version of that commercial that temped me in to trying the parfait.  Doesn't it somehow look larger...and better?  OK, OK, I know mine was Oreo and not berry, but do you think it will be better?  I feel like a little kid whose scoop of ice cream just hit the hot pavement.  So deflated.  So let down.  So sad.  So shocked at the reality.  Well, maybe not quite that upset.  Sugar is sugar.  I still ate the darn thing.  But it's the last $2.69 Wendy's will get from me...for a while.

Product Review: Subway Cookies

You thought I just ate health food?  Pfffttt!  Not sure where you got that idea!  I try.  But I'm human and life is short.

I like a veggie sub from Subway once in a while and the last time I went, I bought a couple of cookies.  I got a chocolate chip, and a strawberry cheesecake cookie.  YUMO on both counts.

They are what I would call medium in size.  They are about as big around as a large palm, but quite flat.  They are around 50 cents.  They are chewy.  Did I mention they are chewy?  I never really have been a big cookie fan.  Oh, sure if somebody puts them in front of me, I'll eat them, because I'm a sugar addict.  But in general, a cookie isn't top on my list of things to eat.

These really did hit the sugar spot though.  They have several different types and I think run special "flavors" at different times of the year.  I'm not a fan of nuts in my sweets so I didn't try the ones with nuts.  I bet they are all good.  Have you tried Subway cookies?  Which is your favorite?

I'm not including the nutritional info or the calories or how many chemicals are in them.  I'm sure it isn't pretty.  But who cares?  If you don't do it often, it won't kill you.  A person's gotta live a little once in a while, right?

Post Trip Blues

Have you ever hit a funk, or a mini depression, or an unexplainable lethargy following Christmas, or a vacation, or the achievement of a huge goal?

That's what I'm experiencing post Thelma and Louise's Most Excellent L.A. Adventure.  We planned and dreamed and focused our attention on this trip for 6 months.  It was a really big deal for both of us.  It was a great trip.

Now that I'm back, my routine is hard to settle back into.  Nothing is sparking me.  I don't want to do nothing, but don't want to do anything.  First I was tired, and now I'm just blah.

I remember feeling this way sometimes at the end of each college term, or after graduations of this or that, or after a special holiday, or goal met.  I used to feel this way after bodybuilding competitions...when I had worked so hard for a single goal for a sustained amount of time and after the event...now what?

I think it's pretty normal.  It just isn't very comfortable.  It's a funk.  I just have to be here, ride it out and it will pass.  I can see how adrenalin junkies have to begin right away to plan the next big event or goal to focus on.  But if you are always looking to the "next great thing", there really is not time for now is there?  And now is all we have.  So for now...it's Funky Town.  I'll just try to be here now, and understand that I'm perfectly fine.

I'll Be

I'll Be by Diane Warren (previously recorded by Reba McEntire)

When darkness falls upon your heart and soul
I'll be the light that shines for you
When you forget, how beautiful you are
I'll be there to remind you
When you can't find your way
I'll find my way to you
When troubles come around
I will come to you

I'll be your shoulder
When you need someone to lean on
Be your shelter
When you need someone to see you through
I'll be there to carry you, I'll be there
I'll be the rock that will be strong for you
The one that will hold on to you
When you feel that rain fallin' down
When there's nobody else around
I'll be

And when you're there, with no one there to hold
I'll be the arms, that reach for you
And when you feel your faith is running low
I'll be there to believe in you
When all you find are lies
I'll be the truth you need
When you need someone to run to
You can run to me

I'll be your shoulder
When you need someone to lean on
Be your shelter
When you need someone to see you through
I'll be there to carry you, I'll be there
I'll be the rock that will be strong for you
The one that will hold on to you
When you feel that rain fallin' down
When there's nobody else around
I'll be

I'll be the sun
When your hearts filled with rain
I'll be the one
To chase the rain away

I'll be your shoulder
When you need someone to lean on
Be your shelter
When you need someone to see you through
I'll be there to carry you, I'll be there
I'll be the rock that will be strong for you
The one that will hold on to you
When you feel that rain fallin' down
When there's nobody else around
I'll be
I'll be

Writing

"Each time we pose pen or pencil to paper

we connect with who we are

who we were

who we want to be

we are circles of women

writing together

apart

in dialogue

alone

We write:  Wherever we are

when we're overwhelmed

to clear our minds

to express our anger,

to clarify our thoughts

when we're too tired to talk,

to capture that exact feeling

to release our pain,

to honour our truths

We write

to connect ourselves

to this circle

these circles

of women writing

each time we pose

pen or pencil

to paper."

~ Wendy Judith Cutler ~ 1992

Update:  March 26th, 2012.  Wendy Judith Cutler wrote to me so I thought I would include information she sent regarding upcoming workshops.  Her website is still under construction, but I will try to post that for you when it becomes available.  Apparently, what I have above is only a portion of the larger piece which she was kind enough to send me...so I will also include that below.  It's beautiful.  Be sure to check out her publications and workshops.  And Wendy, feel free to post upcoming events in the comments section whenever you want to.

Willow:
As i was "surfing the web" I found that
you had reproduced a part of the poem i wrote called "circles of women." i am flattered and i wonder where you saw it. (We'Moon 2011?)
 
I facilitate women's journal writing and memoir workshops on Salt Spring Island in BC Canada.  I am also teaching a women's memoir workshop at Breitenbush at the end of April, during a women's weekend.
 
In any case, I just thought that I would let you know that I saw it.  Thank you for crediting me.  Blessings,Wendy

I replied that I thought my good friend "Thelma" sent me a portion of the piece but didn't remember for sure. I asked her about a website to refer people to, or publications that she would want us to be aware of. She adds:

I'm just now creating a web site (through word press) so for now nothing is there, but Breitenbush does have it listed in their catalog.

She included the full text to this piece.  Enjoy.  It's great.

CIRCLES OF WOMEN Wendy Judith Cutler (1992)
(Dedicated to all the circles of women writing everywhere)

each time we pose
pen or pencil to paper
we connect with who we are who we were who we want to be
we are circles of women
writing together
apart
in dialogue
alone
reaching for the depth
or surface brilliance
writing our lives authentically intuitively consciously
coming together
to read to write to share to listen to speak
knowing ourselves more
as we come to know others
creating a space
safe enough for our pain
and joy
our losses
and our resilience

write anything
about what?
write about anything
anything?
write about your hunger cravings desires obsessions
I don’t have any

think
write
let yourself go
go deeply
deny nothing

I used to write a lot stopped
someone read my words
my thoughts
I stopped writing
never wanted anyone else to know

tell the story of the betrayal violation criticism

there were other times
I became silent ashamed vulnerable

write it out
put it down
word by word
thought by thought

I’m scared
it’s too painful
too boring
too wordy
too hard

breathe stay calm own your feelings
acknowledge your experiences
confront your censors
go beyond your blocks
discover the source that fuels
your creativity your words your power

but that’s frightening
I feel overwhelmed

just start writing
put it down
whatever comes
keep writing
don’t stop

all right, here goes:
I am a woman who...
This is a day in the life of...
An obsession of mine is...
If I could change anything I’d...
write anything
from your heart your body your soul
write your pain
your joy
ambivalence
jealousy
write your regrets
your truths
your dreams
your visions
write your lies
I am on a tropical island...
I watch the waves...
I am in the forest...
I am alone in a cabin...
I am on my bed...
I am in my favorite chair...
I am at my desk....
I am under a tree....
I am near the fire....
(in unison)

we write wherever we are

we write when we’re overwhelmed

we write to clear our minds

we write to express our anger

we write to clarify our thoughts

we write when we’re too tired to talk

we write to capture that exact feeling

we write to release our pain

we write to honour our truths

we write to connect ourselves to this circle

these circles of women writing

each time
we pose
pen or pencil to paper
(Excerpted in We’Moon 2011)

Recipe: Lime Cilantro Slaw

A couple of years ago, in our local newspaper, The Observer, Mamacita's International Grill (a local restaurant) ran a recipe for a dish it was serving.  I hung onto it for a while before trying it and I must say it is one of my faves.  I sort of have to be in the mood for it, perhaps once or twice a year, and usually in the summer.  I'm guessing that whatever is in it, is just what my body needs at that time.  I usually end up eating a giant bowl of the stuff in about two days.

Other than KFC coleslaw, I'm not a huge slaw fan.  The homemade types just seem like mayonnaise on cabbage.  Not so yummy.  This recipe can be tempered by using less oil than called for (cuz the only real purpose of the oil is to help the dressing cling to the slaw).  And there's no creepy mayo in it.  I realize that some people hate cilantro.  If you're one of those people (my husband is), either don't make it, or leave out the cilantro.  Adjust the ingredients to your taste after making it once.

Cilantro Slaw

1 head green cabbage, about one pound, finely shredded
1/2 cup minced sweet onion
1/2 cup lightly chopped cilantro

Lime Garlic Dressing

Whisk together, 1/2 cup salad oil, 1/4 cup freshly squeezed lime juice, 2 minced cloves of garlic, 1 teaspoon sugar.

Mix the cabbage, onion, and cilantro together in a large bowl.  Stir in the Garlic-Lime Dressing.  Season to taste with salt and pepper.

Or, you can throw caution to the wind...this is how it usually ends up looking for my exact measureing techique:
One giant bowl...throw in:
One bag of cole slaw mix (which includes carrots and purple cabbage)
One bag of angel hair slaw (finely shredded green cabbage)
One bag of broccoli slaw mix
Some minced onion, or some finely sliced green onion (as much as you like) or even chives if you have some growing in your garden.
A fist full of cilantro, or a giant pile, or nearly an entire bunch (more or less depending on your love or hatred of cilantro), rough chopped.

For the Dressing:
juice of 2-3 limes (depending on size) and use the zest as well.  May as well make it limey
2-3 pressed garlic cloves
1/4 cup or so of clear organic cooking oil (olive oil tends to get clumpy when it is refrigerated)
sugar or organic agave syrup.  I monkey with the amounts until it is a tart-sweet combo resembling limeade (with garlic)...make it how you like it.

If it sounds at all good to you, try it and let me know what you think.

Our New Washing Machine: A Maytag Bravos

We recently had a total meltdown of our washing machine.  It made a horrible noise, refused to drain off the water in the current load and, well, it just plain died.  I called the repairman and he listened to the noise over the phone.  After I told him what brand it was, he groaned.  He said there was no fixing it.  He said he was surprised it had lasted (8-10 years) as long as it did.  He said mine might be the only one still surviving.

What we had was the Kenmore Calypso.  He said they, the the biz, refer to them as "Collapse-Ohs".  They were only made for two years before being pulled from the market.  There was a class action lawsuit over them.  They are, in short, a piece of crap.

At the time I purchased it, it was super expensive.  It was around $1,200 for the pair which 8-10 years ago was a horribly expensive machine set.  It was the newest and the latest and the greatest.  It was among the first line of the High Efficiency, super capacity machines that had taken out the center agitator in favor of a bouncing action.  I thought at the time, that the newest and the latest and the most expensive MUST be the best, the most durable and the best performing.  Not so.

So what to buy this time?  In doing some checking around, the top of the line in terms of high efficiency, super capacity, energy efficiency, and performance overall, are the front loading machines.  And they also come in as the most expensive options.  Front loaders take advantage of gravity to let the clothes fall from the top of the drum as it rotates, rubbing against each other in place of an agitator.

We took measurements.  There is no way, in our tiny wash room that the door to a front loader would be able to swing open far enough before it hit the wall.  So that option was out.  That narrowed the field.  I also borrowed a friend's copy of the Consumer Reports 2011 Buying Guide.  That helps you to know what has been tested, approved and rated by Consumer Reports.

We're going to need a dryer soon too.  One of the interesting things we read was that they don't recommend purchasing matched brand/style sets for washers and dryers.  Oh sure, it's OK to buy two blue ones, or two white ones, but to research dryers, and research washers and purchase the top rated for each category even if that meant two different brands.

We also learned that a brand and model may not be a sufficient choice.  You may need to choose the specific model number that tested well.  For example, among those rating highest for high-efficiency, TOP loading washers was the Maytag Bravos.  But Maytag Bravos makes many models.  In particular, they make several models that have a clear glass viewing lid.  What?  Why?  It might be novel to peek at your laundry washing once, but who has the time to do it more than that?  And, sure it's clean and shiny when you buy it, but how long before it is detergent and water spotted and looks like crap?  And what if you break the glass?  I'm sure it isn't cheap to purchase a new lid?  So we knew that was out.

What we did was order, from Sears the Maytag Bravos Model # MVWB300WQ2, which was a model specifically shown to perform well given our desire for a super capacity, top loading, high efficiency machine.

So far, I like it.  It holds a TON of laundry.  A freaking TON.  It operates much quieter than the "Collapse-Oh", and so far, performing well.  Time will tell.  Because to me, the other test of a good product is how long it lasts, how few repairs it might need, how expensive those repairs are.  Mostly...does it continue to perform well for a long time.

We also learned that it truly is best not to wash in cold water.  Detergents really don't break down well in cold water (even the cold water brands).  This can add to accumulated detergent coating on the inside of the workings of the machine, and contribute to that moldy, stinky smell many washers acquire over time.

I think the dryer we will be replacing our "Collapse-Oh" which (it is starting to poop out, and the auto dry feature doesn't work, which is a dryer's primary way to reduce energy consumption...) is a GE Profile Harmony, model DPGT750EC [WW].

It's really hard to make a good, lasting choice in appliances.  Our stove needs to be replaced too, and we are doing some research in that regard as well.  Our "top of the line" Amana turned out to be a stinker (and two other people we know with the same model had the same exact repeated, expensive part failures that ours did...the dreaded F1 code).  We know we want another smooth top, and research is pointing to the GE, JB700DN[WW] model as a promising option, with consumer reports giving it an 85 out of 100 points for performance.  Sadly, that's the highest they gave any range/stove.  It's true, they just don't make 'em like they used to.  And things are no longer made to last, but cost 2-3 times higher for their disposable configuration.

Consumer Reports Buyer's Guide in the current year of your research, is a really good resource.  To get Consumer Reports information, you pretty much have to guy an online or magazine subscription.  Usually they throw in the current year buying guide for "free".  It's a good magazine, I just find that unless I'm looking to purchase something major, it is of little use to me month in and month out.  We also then read customer reviews online to see what they liked or what they didn't like about each model we were looking at.  When you're spending so much for an appliance, it only makes sense to do some of that pain in the rear research before buying.  And even then, the choice might turn up a lemon.  We're hoping for a gem.

Recipe: Lentil Tabbouleh

This recipe comes from the cookbook, Totally Vegetarian by Toni Fiore.  It's a darn good cookbook.  Plus, you can watch her show on Public Broadcasting, AND watch YouTube videos (search Totally Vegetarian Delicious TV), as well as follow on Facebook since many new videos are posted there.

I've always struggled a bit with lentils.  I know they are a fantastic source of protein and fiber (among many other nutrients), but they've never really sparked my love.  This is a recipe that I decided was worthy of making again...and perhaps again...

Lentil Tabbouleh

1/4 cup fine or medium grain bulgur wheat
1 cup green or brown lentils
1 bay leaf
fine sea salt and freshly ground black pepper
6-8 scallions, white and green parts, thinly sliced
2 garlic cloves, minced
Zest of 2 lemons
1/4 cup lemon juice
1/2 cup (or less) virgin olive oil
1 tsp paprika
2 cups finely chopped parsley
1/4 cup chopped mint

1.  Place the bulgur in a bowl and pour in just enough boiling water to cover.  Allow the bulgur to stand for 25 to 30 minutes, until the grains are swollen and tender and most, if not all, of the water is absorbed.

2.  In a saucepan, cover the lentils with water.  Add the bay leaf and 1/2 tsp salt and bring to a boil.  REduce the heat and simmer uncovered for 20 minutes, until tender but firm.

3.  In a deep serving bowl, whisk together the scallions, garlic, lemon zest and juice, olive oil, paprika, and 1 tsp salt.  Drain off any excess water from the tender-firm lentils, and fold them gently into the dressing.  Pour off or press out any excess water from the bulgur and add to the lentil mixture, along with the parsley and mint.  Toss all the ingredients gently.  Discard the bay leaf.  Season with salt and pepper and serve.

This is really good served with wedges of pita bread to dip it up with.  It makes a good appetizer, side dish or main dish for a light vegetarian meal or snack.  My husband liked it but didn't find it hearty enough for a meal for him.  I found that I enjoyed just taking it out of the fridge whenever I felt hungry and eating some cold.  In that case, best to use a clear, organic cooking oil as olive oil can get a bit chunky in the fridge.

I'm sure when I made it last, I used the juice of two whole lemons since I had already zested both.  No idea how much that was but the strong lemony flavor was what I liked best about it.

And get the book.  I use it a lot.  You don't have to be a vegetarian to like the recipes.  Many people are trying to use less meat due to health concerns or simply the rising cost of groceries.  There are lots of things to experiment with in this cook book.

Coke Addict

You thought this was going to be a different type of post, right?

I'm not a Coke addict, but I could be, with very little provocation.  I"m aware that whenever I drink Coke, I want more the next day, and the next day and the next.  So I try not to have it very often.  It keeps me awake at night, and there is just nothing about it that's good for a person.

I used to love Pepsi.  That was my go-to cola.  For years I would go to the gas station and fill an insulated cup with 32 oz of Pepsi with ice and it would go with me everywhere throughout my day.  I don't like diet colas.  But somewhere along the line, I switched.  I think the subtle difference is that Pepsi might be sweeter and perhaps not as strongly carbonated.  There is a difference and my preference flip-flopped.  But in a restaurant, I don't care, either is fine.  I'm not a cola snob with no ability to adapt.

I wonder if it is the sugar or the caffeine or the bubbles that sneaks up on me creating an addiction.  Back in the early days, Coca Cola actually had cocaine in it.  Go figure.

So I'm careful because I don't want to get too hooked on regular use of something that is really bad for me.  I notice that about fast food, fat, salt, sugar...the trifecta of pleasure.  The more I combine them, the more I want them.

Do you have guilty pleasures that you know aren't good for you?  Lest we look down our noses at people who smoke, drink to excess, are overweight, or have a drug addiction, we are programed to like certain things.  Addiction happens.  Some addictions are "socially acceptable" and others remain so behind closed doors as long as the person continues to "function in society" we look the other way.  Addiction can happen to anyone.  Just sayin'  I'm just a 32oz cup away from a coke addiction.

Book Review: Safe Haven by Nicholas Sparks

Safe Haven by Nicholas Sparks is the story of a woman trying to escape her past to find happiness again.  It's also the story of domestic violence, and how difficult it can be to run far enough, fast enough from an obsessed abuser...especially if he's a detective with a badge and a gun, a religious complex and a serious drinking problem.  These are the challenges Katie faces as she begins again in a small coastal town.

I really enjoyed this book.  It kept me turning pages from the start.  Having survived domestic violence in my first marriage, having worked around victims in my work at a DV shelter, and knowing someone that I firmly believed was murdered by her cop husband (and he got away with it), it struck a chord with me.

Also, what strikes a chord is there is a metaphysical and spiritual twist near the end.  Oh yeah, you KNOW I'm gonna like that.  I enjoyed The Notebook, also by Nicholas Sparks, but some of his other works have fallen a bit flat with me.  This one could make one heck of a movie..I'm not sure I could WATCH it, but it may end up on the silver screen one day.

What is Enough and What is Too Much Information (TMI)?

Is there such a think as TMI (Too much information)?  Where's the line, and who gets to decide?  What's the difference between transparency, clarity, honesty and TMI?  What's the difference between privacy and secrecy?

I'm super open.  In part that's my nature.  In part it's learned.  In part it is achieved.  I sometimes take a lot of heat for it.  Some believe I tell too much, too much about myself, too much about my son...too much.  Some are embarrassed by my openness, and I get judged and taken to task for it from time to time.  Sometimes I hear a shocked "I cannot believe you just said that!"  I often say what others are thinking but won't say.  Is this good?  Is it bad?  Is there a written line to be crossed and I forgot to read the manual?  There seems to be a line, I've just never successfully negotiated it.

The part of it that is my nature, is just open...seeing no reason not to share my truth.  Perhaps that's how we are all created but we learn to dampen it through shaping, shame and fear of being real. 

The part of it that is learned comes from living in the public eye.  As a teen, I needed mental health services.  There is stigma there.  As a young, divorced mother, I began a journey in "The System"...welfare, foodstamps, WIC, state medical coverage.  Later "The System" was that my son had special needs, so it was school meetings, and doctor appointments, and specialists, and testing, and mental health.  Despite "The System's" legal mandate for "confidentiality", in truth, there is very little.  They share information with the entire agency as part of teams, you are in meetings and appointments where you business is continually discussed and scrutinized.  You can spend years in it, as I did, being inculturated that you have no privacy.  To keep anything private is to be suspect and labeled as "resistive", "manipulative" or "in denial".  I just learned that my life, my son's life, and all of the details were open and on display.  After more than 18 years of that, it becomes habit.  There are no longer any secrets and you learn to just "spill it".

The part of it that is achieved is that which I have made a concentrated effort to become.  I fight against my upbringing.  I was raised with a multi-generational legacy that valued appearances over content.  As long as you smiled, were quiet, were polite, were clean, and fit into a specified parameter of physical and fashion appearance, that was far better than anything that might be going on inside yourself, or your family.  What the world sees, was of utmost important.  "Dirty Laundry" (translated to anything not deemed perfect), simply wasn't done. 

I want to develop spiritually.  I want to live authentically and honestly.  I've a panache for recognizing bullshit.  It's either a gift or a curse.  I groan both outwardly and inwardly when I read a Christmas letter so full of syrup and family happiness, when I know that the family is falling apart.  I learn most by those people whose problems are openly shared in the spirit of honesty (vs just attention and sympathy seeking).  To pretend all is well, when you are struggling serves nobody.  Or so I think.  We learn from each other.  When we let our masks down and show who we truly are, what frightens us, what we are coping with, and what we need support with, we become real...human.  In becoming real, it's my theory that we allow others to see they are not alone, and that they too can reach out.  I hate hypocrisy.  I hate lies.

What's the difference between being private and keeping a secret...or lying?  I know this line differs for everyone.  Do we need to just allow people to be where they are instead of trying to always place them where WE are most comfortable?  Do we need to recognize that the "line" of what is good to share and what is not good to share is different for each person, and that we sometimes make mistakes in sharing too much or too little, and just let it be?  Or is there a clean line.  A place we can all learn to agree is a spot not to be crossed or exceeded?  I don't know.  I just know that at times, I feel weary of the scrutiny that never seems to go away.  If I had a nickel for every time I've had my hands slapped for my openness (or share-too-muchness), I could afford to pay someone to find the lines and mark them for me.  It's funny how my openness, and the cost of it, has contributed to my hermit nature.  If you don't know where the lines are and it hurts to cross them, it's easier not to bother.

Do you know where the line is?  Tell me.

Thelma and Louise's Most Excellent Adventure. Part 8. Conclusions

So what are my overall reflections of my Thelma and Louise Adventure?

• It was awesome
• We challenged fear and insecurity
• We tried new things
• We grew our confidence in our own capabilities.
• We are stronger together
• Laughing truly can cure just about anything.
• No matter what, a mother's love is stronger than anything known to man.
• Pico Blvd is possessed.
• Suitcases are heavy
• People are funny, and unique, and wonderful, and entertaining, and beautiful.
• Our stereotypes were challenged
• Everyone in L.A. and surrounding areas and everywhere we went, were kind and helpful
• Even a person having a bad, crabby day, can be turned around with enough positive energy, politeness, and smiles.  We made that a goal.  Anyone having a bad attitude was a personal challenge to be overcome.  We poured on the love until they felt it.  It works.
• There are a lot of police in a lot of different forms.  Glad to have them.
• Sometimes, sad and lost and confused people find each other.  I've noticed that oftentimes, those on the fringe of society are more supportive and accepting of one another than the "normal" people are.  They also allow others to be themselves with far less judgement.  I can let my "freak flag fly" in their presence...be more of who I am...expand my self expression in their presence with a feeling of greater safety than anywhere else.
• Thelma is a goddess.  I can never thank her enough for what she gave me on my journey.  It is a memory I will treasure always.  Because of her, I have awesome photos of my son and I together.
• My son is a grown man.  Some developed strengths surprised me.  Some advanced deficits concerned me.  I love him more than anyone I know, and can be in his presence less than anyone I know.  It is a bittersweet pull and push that is what it is.  I rejoice.  I grieve.  I'm glad to be away.  I'm broken-hearted to be away.  I want to get away...I want to hold him to me tight and never let go.  I think he feels the same.
• Travel is phenomenal. 
• Travel is utterly exhausting and overwhelming.
• People with tattoos aren't freaks and they aren't scary.  They're people.  With moms.  And hopes and dreams and fears and challenges.  Just like the rest of us.
• Curse words spoken loudly in public won't make you die of embarrassment
• Alcohol is a dangerous drug.  The war on drugs is nothing compared to the overuse, abuse, and closeted problems associated with alcohol use.  We saw it everywhere.
• It's good to stretch your boundaries
• Watts is an amazing place
• Venice is a bewildering place
• There's not much funnier than a box of dicks
• Rodeo Drive, Beverly Hills, Hollywood and Malibu (and I'm sure many other places) are further from reality than Venice beach boardwalk.  Note to self...don't ever strive for the "lifestyles of the rich and famous".  Straying too far from reality was exemplified in all of these locations.  The middle is not a bad place to find balance.
• The beaches of California are not predominately populated by buxom twenty-somethings in bikinis.  We didn't see very many of those at all.  Just regular people.  Families.  People of all styles, shapes, sizes and ages, enjoying themselves.
• The ocean is magnificent.  It "restoreth my soul".  To heck with still waters.
• L.A. is complex, interesting, exciting and overwhelming.  I can understand why my son feels at home there.  It fills his need for diversity, excitement, novelty and he knows also there are places to be found in the chaos where peace and beauty are present.  There's a beautiful park in the heart of his neighborhood. The beach brings peace.  He took us on a hike into a beautiful wild place.  We took our Hollywood hike above the hustle and bustle.  There are quiet places of beauty mixed with the noise.
• Most people, when given the chance and treated with respect and love, are kind and good at heart.
• It is possible to have too much of a good thing.  Know when to quit.  Listen to your body and your spirit and pull in when needed and flow out when able...follow the rhythm and balance of the tides.
• There are many spiritual metaphors to be found while traveling.  Not knowing where your going, going on faith, trusting, being on the wrong end of the right road, feeling lost, finding your way, uncertainty, unfamiliarity, new challenges to overcome, twists in the road/path, beauty, ugliness, fear, hope, laughter and tears...it's all part of the grande journey.

I also, mostly, love LG (La Grande, Oregon).  It's a good home base and a good fit...for me.  I'm glad there are different energies, environments and places for people to find and feel a sense of belonging.  And I'm glad they let us visit.

And...here's the real Thelma and Louise

 

Ya know what?  If somebody was smart, they would pay Thelma and I to travel to their city and give our opinions about the sights.  They would be HONEST opinions, because that's the only kind we have, but wouldn't we make great travel journalists?  Especially if we take our grown kids and add their perspectives.  So...who wants to be first to fund us?

Thelma and Louise's Most Excellent L.A. Adventure. Part 8

Day 6.  June 28, 2011.  LAX, PDX, Vancouver, WA, The Dalles, OR, Home.

We were totally spent.  The air pollution had us hacking.  My voice had dropped into the drag queen tone.  We burned the candle on both ends (despite being in bed before midnight every night).  We had every nerve and fiber stimulated to the point of being jangled.

And still.  It's hard to leave.  Hard to go and realize I'll be that much further from my son again, for who knows how long this time.  It's hard to leave the presence of my friend.  And yet...we would all grow cross if we spent too much time together.  I guess that's the sign of a perfect vacation; one in which you are sad to leave and happy to leave.  It's always good to leave wanting just a little more instead of crabby that you've had too much.

We spend the evening before, organizing and packing.  We got up around 6, even though our flight didn't leave until 12:20.  Our plan had been to vacate the motel by 8.  We left more like 7:20.  We loaded up, checked out, gassed up the rental car (or the cost for them to gas it was about $5.80 per gallon), and headed off to find the car rental return.  We had seen a sign for an exit for car rental returns when we were looking for Watts.  We followed it, and promptly ended up on the wrong side of the right street.  Perhaps that's a metaphor for the struggles we all face in life.  Maybe most of us never veer that far off track, we just end up somehow turned around going the wrong way on the right road.

When we realized we were not finding our way past a certain point, we stopped, and called the agency for directions.  After going yet a little further in the wrong direction, we turned around and found our way.  The return was easy.  Pull up, hand over the keys, get a receipt, haul out our stuff, and board the waiting shuttle.  By now we were only slightly behind our original estimation for each step.

We arrived at the airport, and began winding through the lines which were longer than they had been on our way in.  Back and forth and around the ropes, dragging our luggage.  The lines for security were really long but moving smoothly.  We made it through security by probably around 9:30 or 10.  Then we headed for the long lines of Burger King and Starbucks for breakfast.  We found a reasonably quiet corner very near our gate to wait and chat and eat and decompress.  We found our flight had been overbooked and that made us nervous.  The flight had also been delayed until 12:55.  I made a call to hubby to let him know the situation and that I would keep him informed.  I made a call to our friend who would bring my car to the airport to let her know of the delay (or possibility of being bumped).  We decided we would push our way to the front of the line and scramble on the plane as close to first as we could.

While we waited there were many moments of silence.  We were bushed.  There were memories shared and a few more photos taken.  And there was people watching...and more laughing.  We weren't always the kindest in our critiques of those around us.  But it was all stinking funny.

We made it on the plane!  Whew!  This time, Thelma's right hand seat mate was a man, in a Hawaiian shirt, wearing knee-high support hose (we later saw him in the airport wearing sandles, so he must have needed these for flying),  unkindly, he was forever dubbed TED Hose.

We got back to Portland, were picked up by our friend and taken back to her house in Vancouver, WA to drop her off to head back out in my car.  She showed us around her place and we had a nice walk outside before heading out.

She showed us the first black swans I had ever seen.  One of them was mean as heck, named "Jaws"...a very aggressive and territorial bird with designs on ankle biting (or any other part he could lay beak to).  It was nice to see her, see where she lives, and have a nice walk around the grounds and a potty stop before hitting the long drive home.

We gassed up in Hood River, OR, and stopped for dinner at Cousins, in The Dalles, OR.  Here we are, Thelma and Louise in our last photo op, outside Cousins.  There's always some nice person, willing to take a picture for you.

Then we hit the long drive home with a few potty stops.  I think we got home around 10 or so.  By the time we got home, the fatigue had turned to hysteria and we laughed so hard in the final moments of the trip I thought my face would split.  What a great way to end it.  I dropped Thelma off (who I have yet to see since, so busy is her world...or she's sick of me...NAH!), drove home, hauled my suitcase to the porch and had to knock on the door to wake hubby since my house keys were buried in my suitcase somewhere.

It was good to be in my own bed, snuggled up to my warm man.  Ahhhh.  We were both asleep in nanoseconds.

And thus, Thelma and Louise's Most Excellent L.A. Adventure, came to an uneventful conclusion.  Thanks if you stayed with me for the sometimes boring account of "What I Did On My Summer Vacation".  I wrote it perhaps more for me than for you...to remember it, to keep it all and treasure it all and remember it all.  It was special.  I don't get out much you know.  What is ordinary for many, was extraordinary for us.  Tomorrow I will reflect on the trip in it's entirety...what I learned, what I take away.

Thelma and Louise's Most Excellent L.A. Adventure. Part 7

Day 5.  Monday, June 27, 2011.  Echo Park Community, Runyon Canyon Park Hike, Hollywood, Santa Monica Promenade, Santa Monica Beach, back to Echo Park, back to Santa Monica.  Whew!  Got it?

It's Monday.  The one and only day that my son had available.  We didn't know until we got here that he even had managed a single day off.  He works in two different tattoo shops as a body piercer.  His typical hours are noon to 10 p.m.  I'm not typically able to stay awake past 10 and he's not typically able to get up before 11.  So this was a challenge.

Due to human error, poor communication, and failed electronic devices, I lost all contact with him on Sunday BEFORE we were able to nail down a plan for today.  I figured we had missed our window of opportunity.  How frustrating to be in the same city and not really be able to get in touch or know what to do to connect.  We got up and around and had a slow-paced early morning trying to decide what to do. Packed our sandwiches and water with extras for the "child" (not me...him) and Thelma declares "Well, we know he doesn't like to get up before noon, right?  So...let's print the maps, and just go find his house and wake him up and make a plan from there."  She's brilliant.  Truly she is.

We printed maps, and headed back into "the hood" to find his house.  Along the way, on the outside chance that our failed previous attempts at communication might just auto-correct, I tried dialing his number again.  He answered.  Did you just hear a choir of angels singing the Hallelujah chorus???  I think I did.  He was up (the angels continue to sing), and was already out taking care of some personal business that he needed to take care of on his only day off in a couple of weeks.  I told him we were en route to his house and we would just wait in the car until he got back.  When we pulled up in front of his house...so was he (still hearing those angels?).

We got a tour of his house and he got himself ready.  He was heading for the bathroom when I said "Um, I hear a shower running in the other bathroom.  Do you need to let one of your roommates know there are women in the house so he doesn't come out naked?"  He said "No." and closed the door.  A bit later, out comes one of his roommates in a towel.  He was a rather intimidating dude who has continued to be referred to by me as "the Russian assassin".  He wasn't very friendly and stared us down.  I introduced myself and so did Thelma.  He grunted a little and went to his room.  The man-cub returned and headed out with us for the day.  We had him.  Heavens to Murgatroyd, we had him!  Me...doing the happy dance.  Off we go.  First stop?  He wants to show us a place he likes to go with a good view of the city, which he claims only involves a short and easy "hike".  Geeze...two in a week?  OK.  I'm in.

We go to Runyon Canyon Park which is a 160 acre, hilly area of Los Angeles with dirt trails.  There is a gate at the entrance and there are a lot of people there.  Joggers, walkers, people seriously working out, and people hardly working.  Dogs on and off leashes.  The hilly areas are dry, dusty, and have a lot of cactus, sage brush, yucca and other desert-type flora and fauna.  He takes us up one of the many trails (having to stop and wait for me to catch my breath along the way a few times), that leads to a quite spectacular view of the smoggy city.

Both my son and Thelma failed to tell me about the sign they read coming into the park, which, they both knew, had I seen it, would have nixed any idea about me entering to see this view.

I'm OK with the posted hours, keeping dogs on leashes and not littering part...but the rattle snake part?  Um, no...not OK with that part at all.  Luckily we didn't see any.  A couple of tiny lizards, but that was all.  Good thing...that wouldn't have been pretty.

After taking our photo ops and taking in the view, we headed back to the car, and to Hollywood Walk of Fame , Grauman's Chinese Theater , Kodak Theater, and the Hollywood and Highland Shopping Mall Complex (all next to each other).

Hollywood is just a zoo.  Tourists and traffic everywhere.  But, once again, we're here, so why not experience it?  My son was willing to put up with it for a short while.  We just wanted a few photos and to be off.  But everything takes longer than expected in this place of gobbled time.  We found a free public parking lot which was nice, pretty much directly across the street from Grauman's.  They were having a premiere for the movie Cars 2 which was just released this week, so there were lines of children everywhere.  They were also setting up the red carpet and cameras and we later found out that this evening, at 6:30, the premiere of Larry Crowne starring Julia Roberts and Tom Hanks would be held.  Geeze we missed the stars by mere hours!

For the most part, we stayed in a one block radius for our photo ops, but I think I remember reading there are about 13 blocks of sidewalk stars.




So we snapped a few photos of sidewalk stars... 

Snapped a few photos of the cement imprints...

bought a few $6.99 T-shirts and souveniers at a shop that joined to Madame Tussau's gift shop (M.T. is a wax museum).

We explored the Hollywood and Highland shopping mall with its Egyptian motif and views of the Hollywood sign (if you look SUPER carefully at this photo, you can just make out the Hollywood sign in that window break cut into that wall...I think our previous Hollywood sign photos were much better, don't you?), and found a good sale at Hottoppic and loaded the "man-cub" up with some $5.99 t-shirts.  That's what mom's are for, right?  Thelma and Louse even found a few things we liked there.

Then we hightailed it out of Hollywood.

Next stop was the Santa Monica, Third Street Promenade.  It's a shopping and dining and entertainment district without car traffic.  We parked in one of the beach parking lots and walked over the highway on an overhead walkway to the Promenade.  We had been very close to this place before on our endless wanderings but barely noticed it.  My son thought we would like it.

We didn't shop or even really enter any of the stores.  We just walked and looked.  Watched some street performers, said Hello to a friend of my son's who works in Diesel's (where there was not a thing I could even consider affording), and found a spot in the outdoor restaurant seating area of Johnnie's.  The food was average and the prices were high (for us), and the waiter was less than welcoming.  We enjoyed sitting down, getting something to eat, and observing passersby in lovely shaded and gently breezy weather.  After that, we moved on.  We don't like to gather moss you know.

Next stop was back to the Santa Monica beach.  Due to my son's schedule and working on the East side, he hadn't been to the beach in a long time.  So we went.  We relaxed in the sun and breathed in the sea air.  Ahhhh, it was nice.

But man-cub began to grow restless again, so we decided it was time to take him home.







We returned to East L.A./Echo Park as the sun was beginning it's descent.


Beautiful mural on Echo Park Pharmacy.

The sun setting on a beautiful church near my son's home.

It is against this backdrop we say our final goodbyes.  I help him carry stuff into his house and we have a silent hug.  Both of us seemingly trying to soak in the moment to imprint it into our memory, to hold the feeling as long as possible.  We don't know when we will see each other again.  Given his life, sometimes I wonder if each time is perhaps the LAST time I will see him.  And truly, none of us ever know for certain.  So hold each moment as if it were the last.

He walks me back out to the car where we say goodbye perhaps three more times.  He walks back into his house and I get back into the car.  I tell Thelma "I am NOT going to cry.".  She says "Oh yes you are, come here" and takes me into her warm, maternal embrace as I dissolve into tears.  Tears I've been flowing in and out of ever since.  I'm not sure if the being with him or the being without him is hardest.

The ride back to the motel in the setting sun is quiet and somber.  We spend the evening eating up our leftovers from my boyfriend "Trader Joe", pack up, set alarms and I stare at, without seeing, a few television shows before drifting off into an exhausted sleep.  Time to go back.  Time to go home.  We've been on another planet for a while and it's time for the rocket to return.  I miss my routines, I miss my husband a lot.  I'll miss daily escapades with Thelma, I'll miss knowing that "Somewhere Out There" in the same city, my son exists.  I have to return to knowing he's under the same sun and the same moon.  It's time.  But it's still hard.

Later, after the trip, Thelma had this to say:

Watching the two of you together made me cry...in a good way. The process of re-connecting on neutral ground, the act of physical touch, the unspoken joy between the two of you, a mothers love for her child, unconditional in that space, no judgements, no requirements, only together. I know how you missed that part of him that you know is under all the masquerade. The actions said it all. The pictures are an amazing bonus to some very precious moments.

Thelma and Louise's Most Excellent L.A. Adventure. Part 6

Day 4.  Sunday, June 26, 2011.  Rodeo Drive, Beverly Hills, Malibu and the Santa Monica Beach.

We got up, and packed ourselves up and asked the front desk folks for directions to Rodeo Drive.  It was perhaps 9 a.m. or so.  With those instructions, Thelma found her way fairly easily.

We discovered something very cool.  On a Sunday morning, the shops on Rodeo Drive are not open AND, on Sunday, you don't have to pay to park on the street at the metered locations right on the street.  We didn't want to shop, we just wanted to take photos.  So there was hardly anybody around except a few other tourists, it was easy to find a place to park, and we had a nearly unobstructed photo taking opportunity.  With no stores open yet, and being early Sunday, it was nearly deserted by L.A. standards.  We found that to be an unexpected treat. So we snapped up photos like crazy.

As soon as we parked (in front of Ralph Lauren), I saw two pale blue silky ribbons on the sidewalk.  I picked them up.  They had a sparkly white design on them of bunnies.  I quickly ascertained that they were the straps cut from a garment.  So I made up a story that Paris Hilton had bought a top but wanted it strapless, so she ripped off the straps and threw them on the ground.  I have one, and Thelma has one.  We like to think Paris Hilton gave them to us.  That's how rumors get started.  Mine is now tied to my purse to remind me of our trip, and of course, my dear friend Paris Hilton.

We certainly are not your typical shopping gals, and we both agreed, Rodeo Drive is kinda dumb.  Snooty stores with hardly anything in them.  There are about 4 dresses on an empty rack in a mostly empty store.  I'm sure they would like you to believe that there is scarcity, that you are getting a one of a kind thing, but we didn't see anything we couldn't live without. 

Except maybe these shoes.  Am I right?  Can't you just see us grocery shopping, doing laundry and gardening in these?  SA-WEET!

Honestly, if the stores HAD been open, and we HAD any money to spend, I still didn't see anything that really interested me.  And neither one of us would have felt welcomed or comfortable in stores like these.  We would have felt like Julie Robers in her hooker outfit in Pretty Woman, when the store people were mean to her.  Only, somehow, I don't think we would be awakened the next morning with Richard Gere waving a no-limit credit card under our noses saying "Wake up...time to shop!"  Although, wouldn't that be grand?

This is to prove to you that we were there, which was all we really wanted anyway...to see it, and say we saw it.






After our photo ops, we quickly moved on.  I really wanted a photo of the classic Beverly Hills sign.  I'm sure there are many of them, but we just needed one.  We saw a few nice houses, but didn't really know where to go to see specific houses to the stars.  That is for another time when we take tour buses.  For today, it's just the sign, and then we move on again.

There it is...there's the sign!  (or one of them).











Thelma thought it might be nice to take a drive on the Pacific Coast Highway...we ended up in Malibu.  It is a town just slightly larger than where we live.  A bit more money perhaps.  Ya THINK??!  Just from the highway perspective, it looks much like any other older beach town.  The spendy houses to the stars are tucked up in the canyons off the main drag and we just weren't in the mood to see how the other half was living that day.

Hey..there's another sign to prove we were here.

We pulled off to turn around in a tiny little shopping center, grabbed a Starbucks, and sat outside to eat our ghetto peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.  Mostly we saw snooty people with way too much money and bratty kids...expensive clothing, and Fi-Fi poodles on leashes.  People not paying any attention to each other, even those sitting at tables together, were all texting other people.  Weird.  I know that happens everywhere, but it is just weird.

The coolest thing I saw in Malibu, was a beautiful big white tree in the middle of the parking lot that nobody was paying much attention to.  It had about 4 or 5 huge straw-like nests in it with nesting white cranes in them.  It was so cool.  We didn't get any super good photos of the nests or trees because it was just rather challenging to do in and around the leaves and moving birds, but here's the best we have.  See if you can spot a nest or a crane.

Is that a cool tree, or what?

In this photo, you can see one of the cranes and at least one nest.  All of that was happening overhead with nobody noticing.  It was AWESOME.

So we sort of give Malibu a Boo (except for that tree, those nests and those cranes).  I'm not really sure why anyone would want to live there except for the reputation and bragging rights of saying that you did.  It's not impressive, and the real estate prices are outrageous...for what?  A distant view of the ocean from high atop a hill?  I guess, the potential reasoning would be that it is reasonably quiet while being removed yet very close to L.A.  That might be a plus for star who works in the L.A. area.  I guess.

We left and spent the rest of the afternoon lounging on the beach at Santa Monica.  It's amazing how many police are around.  We saw them in helicopters, on horseback, in vehicles on the beaches, in ATVs and then there were lifeguards and coast guard and airplanes flying advertising banners back and forth.  CRAZY.  In the two or so hours that we were on the beach, we saw at least three rescues of stupid people that swam out too far and couldn't get back in.  With so many people on the beach, I wouldn't want to take a chance someone would notice me and save me in time.

I think we grabbed sandwiches at Subway (of which we swear there is one on every corner in L.A....OK, actually there are 32 to be exact, but I think we saw them all daily) to take back to our rooms for some peace and quiet.  And that ends Day 4 of our adventure.  Tomorrow we actually get to spend time with my son!

Thelma and Louise's Most Excellent L.A. Adventure Part 5

Saturday, June 25, 2011, continues.

After visiting the Watts Towers, we head to Venice, California to see the canals and the famed beach boardwalk.  Thelma is hoping we see Chris O'Donnell or LL Cool J from N.C.I.S. L.A.  We look for them everywhere, to no avail.

We park in one of the all day lots close to Santa Monica and walk along the beach.  I can't recall for sure now, but I think the Venice area is about a mile from Santa Monica.  And there are nearly 22 miles of paved paths along the beach in this area.  Sublime.  Just watch that you are in the pedestrian lane as there are some paths designated for bikes, skates and other fast-moving, human powered vehicles.  They WILL run you down with little remorse.  Sometimes we walked the paths, sometimes the sand, sometimes the surf.  Depended on how we felt at any given moment.

Hmmmm, how best to describe Venice Beach Boardwalk.  A circus.  Non-stop assault of the senses.  Beautiful and not so beautiful art and talent.  I dubbed it "The Island of Misfit Toys"



But actually, here is a more accurate representation:


Mostly you just walk around amazed, with your mouth hanging open, totally overstimulated and overwhelmed.  Unless, of course, you're one of the people who thrive on stimulation.  Then it's the perfect place for you.

Here's me with one of the street solicitors.  He wants money to let you take your picture with him.  I'm not sure which of the two of us is dressed more strangely.  He only looks like he's trying to strangle me...I think.  He let me hold his staff.  Nuff said.

One of the weird highlights of the Venice Beach area, was discovering, in one of the stores, a giant treasure chest, full of...giant, wooden penises.  Some sort of fertility import.  And some penis bottle openers.  Dang..I should have bought one.  They had a sign on them that said "no photos please".  Spoiled sports!  So quick as a bunny, I find Thelma and say quietly "Thelma, you've got to come over here and see this...it's a big box of dicks."  We laughed in a totally immature way.  And the rest of our trip had many puns from this sight.  "Hey...this is more fun than a giant box of dicks!"  Things like that.  My son has a less than charming phrase he repeats..."That sucks a big ole' bag of dicks!".  So we improvised that to "That sucks a giant treasure chest full of wooden dicks!".  Mature?  Not so much.  Panty wetting funny?  It got that way.  Thelma even zoomed in on this picture and found out you could totally see this guy's unit.  I had no idea.  We laughed hard at that too.

We bought jingle ankle bracelets and t-shirts, ate some bad ice cream at high prices, and then headed into the residential area to view the Venice canals.

Sorry, this was the best Venice canals video I could find on YouTube.  The color is horrible.  But you get a sense of the place.  The colors are vibrant, the plant-life is stunning!  It's peaceful and beautiful.  Such a nice contrast to the boardwalk.

This is the very same house shown under renovation in the video clip.  Many of the homes in the real Venice, ARE colored like this.  So it isn't Miami Vice-like, it is very Venice-like.


We walked so much this day we were hurting.  We were about ready to drop, so this is one of the few days we actually ate in a restaurant.  A noisy little place with fairly good food at, as always, way to high of prices for our rural lifestyle and budget.  Then we still had to walk all the way back to the car, drive to the motel and head again for bed.  We actually got to our motel before dark!  We must be slipping.

We stopped at Whole Foods in Santa Monica for more food supplies, dinner, and dessert.  I had never been to a Whole Foods before.  Impressive.  A bit spendy.  By this time I was totally and completely fried from stimulation and couldn't make a single decision to save my life.  All I saw was colors, things lined up on shelves...and could only hear Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.  I was starting to fade and retreat into my own little world.  Just...too...much....to....see.  Thelma ran over to the 99 cent store (in Oregon we have to pay a whole entire dollar) to get more batteries for our cameras (Whole Foods is too ecologically aware and doesn't carry any batteries anymore) and I went to the car...I had nothing left.  Nada.  Zip.  Zero.  Thelma was impressed with the 99 cent store.  Mostly, ours just have junk.  These have junk too, but also produce, dairy, and other grocery items that could almost make it so you could do your grocery shopping there in a pinch.

We had just enough forced energy to eat, wash our feet and hit the sheets.