I give opinions on all sort of random stuff EXCEPT religion and politics...two of the most divisive topics on the planet. I give advice and answer questions (like an advice column), and I love the topics of all things spiritual and metaphysical, parenting and general life issues. I'll review products, movies, books, you name it.
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We've come late to the table. We just discovered Doc Martin on Oregon Public Broadcasting (or Public Broadcasting Service). As I understand it, the series is now in its 5th season, and there were two feature length films prior to it becoming a series (all available on Netflix).
It is categorized as a British comedy drama series and we have really fallen in love with it. Enough so, that I need to figure out how to view the movies and the previous seasons.
Doc Martin is a crusty country doctor living in a small UK coastal village. If I had to diagnose him, I would almost say he's got Asperger's Syndrome. He is brilliant, he has a heart, and yet he is socially, one of the most inept people one could ever hope to meet (or maybe you wouldn't hope to meet him). He is literal and has no room for abstract thought, or human emotion. And in his struggles to find his place, he can be quite funny. He has aspirations of becoming a surgeon (or resuming a career in surgery...I've missed the first four seasons and prequel movies) but there's a small issue; he's hemophobic (afraid of blood).
He tries to have a romance with the sweetest ever school teacher, but they always seem to struggle with his lack of warmth and literal approach. He says what he thinks without regard to hurting feelings. He's not a bad sort, just a very fallible character who you root for throughout. The other town inhabitants are equally as endearing.
If I understand things correctly, what we're viewing now on OPB is the 4th season, and the 5th season doesn't air until this fall.
Here is a segment from an episode chosen just to show the flavor of the character.
And, here's a bit more with an interview and a few more scenes:
This is the second book I've read in the "Joe Pike" character set by Robert Crais. Similar in some ways to the style of the "Jack Reacher" character created by author Lee Child. Both are mesmerizing reads if you like crime and suspense novels.
In The Sentry, by Robert Crais, hero Joe Pike, as usual, manages to stumble into a live and death gang/murder/drug/betrayal war and has to sort out who to save and who is in on the crime. It's always dangerous and you just always know that Joe will live to fight crime another day.
This particular story is set in the L.A. and Venice Beach California areas. My kid lives there and I was just there (for the first time) in June. So it was doubly fun to have a visual image of the Venice canals, and the boardwalk, and some of the flavor of the city in my mind to add to the story as I read.
I like his novels. I'm sure I'll read more. Robert Crais and Lee Child have created two incredible tough-guys to fight crime in their novels. I like them both equally. The writing styles and stories are similar. And there are so many to choose from. Have you read any of them by either author?
My sister is a kindergarten teacher. She found this website, Insect Lore and has been getting cool kits for her classrooms ever since. One year, for my birthday, she got me a Painted Lady Butterfly kit. I was able to borrow her habitat (shown in this photo) once they hatched to watch them for a while before releasing them into my garden.
It was really fun. You don't have to be a kid to be fascinated by insects, frogs etc. This place sells refills, habitats, growing medium, food, DVD's and books. You can get lady bug eggs, stick bugs, preying mantis eggs, caterpillars, frogs, ants, spiders...you can even get a Madagascar hissing, giant cockroach and habitat! Holy cow!
If you're a teacher, home school your children, have children, or are a big curious kid at heart, check out Insect Lore! If you get any of the kits (or have in the past), share with us what you got and how it worked out for you.
The butterfly kit my sister gave me, came in a plastic cup. It was all inclusive. There were 5 or 6 tiny caterpillars in the cup in a medium that was their food. The lid of the cup had a special paper on it that would work for transfer later into the habitat (shown above). I borrowed that from her. She's used her habitat over and over with her classroom kids to raise preying mantis, stick bugs and heaven only knows what else.
We watched the caterpillars crawl around and I swear you could almost see them grow. They were visibly bigger every few hours. After perhaps a week or so, they began to spin webbing, and then they found their way to the lid where they hung upside down for a while. If you really keep a close eye on them you might be lucky enough to catch them transform into their chrysalis. It is so weird when they do it. It's like one minute they are hanging there and then all of the sudden it appears they have turned themselves inside out, splitting at the head area and suddenly, they are a hanging chrysalis. It's totally weird. I wonder if it hurts! They wiggle on occasion and seem sensitive if one of their room mates bumps into them.
Once they are all in their little sleeping bags hanging from the lid, you can carefully peel off the piece of paper with their chrysalises on it, and attach it to the roof of the habitat. That way, when they emerge, they will have space and not beat their wings and hurt each other. Then after a week or two (I can't remember now), they emerge as a wet butterfly. When they emerge, there are tiny drops of what look like blood, much like you would expect in other animal births. They need time to dry their wings...never touch them or help them or you will harm them...they know how to do this on their own. You can put a jar lid with a cotton ball soaked in sugar water, or a few flowers from your garden so they can eat. After enjoying them for a few days (or however long the directions say is OK to keep them), they can be released into your garden.
I'm really eager to try some of the other kits, or to give a kit to a special kid. These are fascinating. Truly. And I hate bugs! As long as they are well contained, I don't mind observing their life cycles and seeing what they do. It takes catching bugs in jars to a whole new level! We even took some video of the caterpillars turning into chrysalises and some tape of them being released. It was so cool to have them crawl around in my hand before they decided to take flight.
The Help is an adaptation from the book by the same title. In essence it is a look from the perspective of "the help" during the pre and civil rights movement time period in Mississippi.
College graduate and wanna be writer/journalist Skeeter comes home from college to face a town and a mindset she's outgrown. She decides to write a book from the perspective of household servants.
Heartbreaking and heartwarming and heartwrenching, both the book and the movie are worth your time and money. It is a first novel by Kathryn Stockett. I've heard it was rejected over 60 times before it found a publisher. Well, just look at it now! Way to go Kathryn. You give me hope for the future.
The movie follows the book quite nicely instead of the usual lame adaptations that change so many things that were good in the book. I was concerned about this since I loved the book so much. But the movie is very good too.
Yeah, so your first question, if you're one of those tofu phobic haters, is WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU MAKE TOFU MAYONNAISE??!!!
Five reasons: Nutrition, wholesome ingredients, tons less fat, vegan option, and to try an experiment and see if it sucks like it sounds like it would suck.
I got this recipe from Facebook from Delicious TV. I made only some slight modifications. Here's the recipe followed by the video of it being made. I doubled the recipe, used silken tofu for an even smoother texture, and used the zest and juice from an entire lemon without measuring. It really gave this a yummy lemony flavor. I wondered if I added sugar instead of salt if it might not be a yummy lemon pudding! I might try that next time.
Tofu Mayonnaise
6 oz soft tofu (that's about a half of an average sized brick)
1 1/2 Tbsp fresh lemon juice
2 T light, clear, veg oil (not olive)
1/2 tsp salt
Combine all in food processor or blender until smooth.
What I notice, is that when working with tofu, the moisture content is always the variable. Sometimes it will want to separate the solid from the liquid after storing in the fridge. This doesn't seem to have a long shelf life, so make what you can easily use in a few days time. And you may need to stir any liquid back into it before using. Mine turned out to be thinner than mayo and thicker than yogurt. It was really yummy though. The protein will be higher, there are no raw eggs in it, and the fat content is hugely lowered. Mostly I just like mayo to give me some extra moisture in my sandwiches. I'm not a fine eater of mayo so it doesn't matter to me that no, this doesn't really taste like mayo. I think it tastes better.
I'm going to give you some basic info, quoted directly from Wikipedia regarding this work before I go further into my review:
The Last Temptation of Christ (or The Last Temptation) is a novel written by Nikos Kazantzakis, first published in 1953. It was first published in English in 1960.It follows the life of Jesus Christ from his perspective. The novel has been the subject of a great deal of controversy due to its subject matter, and appears regularly on lists of banned books. The central thesis of the book is that Jesus, while free from sin, was still subject to every form of temptation that humans face, including fear, doubt, depression, reluctance, and lust. Kazantzakis argues in the novel's preface that by facing and conquering all of man's weaknesses, Jesus struggled to do God's will, without ever giving in to the temptations of the flesh.
Regarding the author, Wikipedia has this to say:
Nikos Kazantzakis (Greek: Νίκος Καζαντζάκης) (February 18, 1883 – October 26, 1957) was consideredthe most important Greek writer and philosopher of the 20th century, celebrated for his novel Zorba the Greek, considered his magnum opus. He became very well-known globally after the 1964 release of the Michael Cacoyannis film Zorba the Greek, based on the novel of the same title.
So first we learn, it's not a recent title. And also that it wasn't published in English until after the Author's death. Where I first became aware of the work was when the movie came out in 1988 (by Martin Scorsese). I had a small kid and was broke and so I didn't go to the theater to see it, but I remember the theaters being picketed and religious organizations up in arms to try to prevent people from seeing it. And if there is one piece of wisdom I can offer religious organizations that want to control freedom of speech it is this: if you want to GUARANTEE the success of a book and a film, picket it and tell people not to go. Both the book and the movie were controversial, and successful.
I recall at some later date that I did rent the movie, but honestly, about the only two things I remember about the movie were being struck that Jesus wondered if he might be crazy for the voices that he heard. I remember thinking that this made perfect sense to me. I remember Mary Magdalene played by Barbara Hershey as quite the sex scene. She was behind a veiled bed having sex...she was covered in tattoos...men were waiting in the same room, just on the other side of the translucent veil, waiting their turn. Those are the two images I remember from the movie. And I have to also say, that now that I've read the book, Hollywood took a bit of license to make that sexy scene a bit more direct than the book ever depicted it.
I just sort of knew, that someday, I wanted to read the book to see what the buzz and the controversy was about. So, this was that time. I'll do my best to explain from my perspective what I think the controversy was (although I'm not certain I have it right since it didn't bother me in the slightest), and further, what type of a read it was as a novel.
First of all, I feel it SUPER DUPER important to stress here that this was a NOVEL. Which means FICTION. It was the author's interpretation of the gospel of the life and death of Jesus. If you read more about Nikos, you'll discover that he was a bit tortured in his quest to seek the balance of the physical and the spiritual in his own life, so this work could represent that struggle within him. And again...it's fiction. So why it created such an uproar, is hard for me to understand. But it did. Also, I don't have the same attachment to the Bible as others do. To me, it's a book, perhaps a guide, and a historical account of questionable accuracy. I realize and respect that others feel differently about it.
I believe that the first bit objection to this work of FICTION, is that it deviates from the Biblical gospels of the life of Jesus. Significantly. I would say that the linear progression of events follows the gospels fairly well, but personalities, and processes differed greatly. I'm not a Biblical wiz-kid, so I can't give super specific information about the smaller nuances, just the major ones. I've read the Bible all the way through once, and parts of it many times, but haven't picked one up in years. Personally, I even struggle a bit with forcing myself to capitalize the B when talking about it. There might be a few spoilers in here, but hey...the book has been around since the 50's...you may have already been exposed to spoilers about it.
Jesus: In this work, Jesus is fallible, and not well-liked. Actually, in this work, he is a cross maker by trade. I'm not clear exactly WHY, other than, to him, it seems, being a cross maker is one way he is trying to quiet the voices, and deviate from what he "hears" and to say "not listening, I don't want to do this stuff I hear calling to me." There is some evidence that perhaps he wonders if he might be nutty. He heard competing voices, that of God and that of the Devil and first he can't tell one from the other, and second, he's not sure why either or both of him would bother with him, so he might just be crazy.
In this work, he is fallible. I think that most believe that the Devil TRIED to tempt Jesus but was never ever even remotely successful. In this work, although it would appear that Jesus never fully falls into temptation, he struggles with sorting things out. He feels pain, confusion etc. He is, in this work, human. Which I sort of thought was the point of him being born in human form.
Mary: Mary seems to have forgotten the virgin birth, the angels, the prophesies and all of that glowing Madonna stuff, and has settled into a normal life in her culture and community. In this work, she's not particularly holy. She's a mom who thinks her son might be crazy, and he embarrasses her with his unconventional ways, and she wishes he would stop all of this nonsense, settle down, get married, get a real job and give her grandchildren. So that is quite a deviation, and a knocking the halo off her head that is probably not well received by those who wish to keep the gospel untouched.
Reincarnation: In at least two places in this book there is talk of reincarnation or channeling or possession of a more supernatural kind than most traditional Christians would permit as allowable. At some point, Jesus refers to a past life he had as a woman, giving him understanding of a woman's perspective. At some other point, it is thought that John the Baptist is channeled through Jesus. That when Jesus preaches with fire in his eyes and a strong, traditional fire and brimstone approach, John the Baptist has been reborn in him. Probably not well received.
Mary Magdalene: I don't recall if it ever stated it in the Bible, but in this work at least, she is the cousin of Jesus, and they grew up together since they were young children. She is totally in love with him. The work portrays her feeling that it is the fault of Jesus that she becomes a prostitute. He rejected her as a mate and so she turned to "the life" in her torment. Here and there she tells him she will stop, if only he will be with her.
Lazarus: This part was kinda icky. Lazarus is the dude that Jesus raised from the dead as part of his performance of miracles during his three year ministry. In the book, the family of Lazarus approaches Jesus, bereft. They say if only he had been here three days earlier, he could have healed him. They beg him to bring him back. The healing power overtakes Jesus, in a way, against his will, and Lazarus, who has already been buried claws his way out of the grave like in a zombie movie. It sort of freaks Jesus out and he backs away, in part pulling back the healing power...so it only sort of happens part way.
Lazarus smells like dirt and decay. He's greenish and partially decomposed with worms going in and out. And he stinks. He's weak and can't eat and light hurts his eyes. He seems to be neither dead nor fully living. And later, Barabbas kills him so as to destroy evidence that Jesus did this miracle. Only he has a bit of trouble killing a guy who is sort of already dead. That part get's interesting.
Judas: In the traditional gospels, Judas is a regular joe apostle. He follows Jesus, and at some point is temped or taken over by the Devil and talked into betraying the whereabouts of Jesus to the soldiers for 30 pieces of silver. In the book, the apostles are quite a bumbling bunch of useless followers. Judas, for his part, is upfront, disliked from the get-go, and early in the book tries to kill Jesus by cutting his throat. At the last minute he can't. He tells Jesus, in a nutshell, "I think you're full of it, I don't think you are who you say you are, but I'm going to follow you from a distance and play it by ear...at the first sign of trouble, I'll be the first to run or to pounce." Basically that's what he said. So he's antagonistic from the start, but honest. And Jesus begins to utilize him as a confidante because of Judas' strength. And Jesus tells him that for the prophesies to be come to pass and for the world to be saved, Jesus must die. He asks Judas to promise to betray him so that all goes according to plan. Reluctantly, Judas agrees. So that's quite a twist.
Timeline statement: Of controversial note, Jesus states (in this book), that he will return to judge the living and the dead before the end of the present generation. That can't work very well for present day believers.
Matthew: Matthew is not well liked because of his previous occupation. And he hangs back in the group of apostles not participating, commenting, or being a part of them. He sees his roll as the one who writes down what happens. So he's always writing. And an angel appears and tells him what to write. And some of it involves changing actual facts so as to get the more desired results later on. Even Jesus gets furious when he reads that Matthew has written "lies". I would imagine that is controversial with present day believers because it sheds doubt on the veracity of the Bible.
The Last Temptation: Ah, yes, we arrive here in the final few chapters. In the Bible, and I'm paraphrasing loosely, the last temptation arrives when Jesus is hanging on the cross and the Devil comes to convince him that he can still escape his lot if only he will jump off the cross and take a different road. Jesus, of course, immediately refuses, and the rest, as they say, is history. However, in this book, there are a few chapters devoted to this. In the book, Jesus enters an altered state or a parallell universe or some time-warp place where an "angel" convinces him that he can choose a different path, and he follows along. He ends up having sex with Mary Magdalene before she is eventually killed, he goes back to the home of Lazarus and moves in and pretends to be Lazarus...taking both Mary and Martha as unwedded wives and having tons of children with him. He becomes a regular dude, a carpenter and a farmer and it follows him to his old age. But then little holes start poking through this universe and he get's glimpses from others, from memory and from dreams that this maybe isn't the right reality for him...and then blamo! He's back on the cross and dies on schedule as the final curtain drops.
Nikos Kazantzakis has a very good working knowledge of the gospels in order to deviate from them with such specificity. I found this work fascinating.
I'll also be totally honest. I'm not sure how it's possible to be both, but this book was both fascinatingly interesting, and as boring as watching paint dry in places. How long was each gospel? Twenty pages? This book is 496 pages. It takes the small amount of information available from the gospels and really stretches it out to flesh it into a story. There are so many dry patches that drag that this book took me a really long time to read because I kept walking away from it (and also, I sort knew how the whole thing was gonna turn out, right?). So it's hard to say that I recommend it. It depends on what you like. It is long. It is verbose. There are many dry patches (sort of like reading the actual Bible), and yet, it twists and pulls at preconceptions and I found that interesting. I found it interesting to pay attention to my own reactions of "well, that's not how the story goes!", when clearly, HELLO...it is a fictional interpretation.
Here is a small clip from the film; a montage set to music. From this clip, you really only get a sense of the deviation from the Bible, near the end...that is the vision or alternative place where Jesus is suspended in time during the temptation which lasts a human lifetime, yet just a blink. I found that fascinating.
We're planning to build some raised beds in our back yard. My neighbor lady came over with this book. It's been around a while (this copy was published in 1998), but it really is a great book for learning how to garden with minimal physical labor.
Lasagna Gardening by Patricia Lanza gave me a lot of ideas to ponder. I like the idea of the layered garden with no digging and hacking and minimal weeding. Combine that with the idea of vertical gardening and we have a plan incubating. However...lumber is freaking expensive. And you don't want pressure treated wood for beds/boxes you plan on eating out of since they are treated with chemicals that can leach out into the soil and into your food. We'll be going with cedar boxes. But this book shows you how to create a garden right in your yard...on the ground...pick a spot and go to it.
The basic idea of lasagna gardening is that you can choose a location where you want a garden, and not even bother to remove sod. That's right...I'm not kidding. Laying down a heavy layer of wet newspaper to shape your garden plot and then begin layering with other mediums like peat moss (Patricial likes lots and lots of layers of peat), compost, barn litter (cow/horse poo with straw or wood shavings), leaves, grass clippings, kitchen scraps all that sort of stuff. She gives you her favorite ratios of each. The newsprint (or cardboard) smothers out the weeds and grass and still allows for worm action in your garden. She's got ideas for all sorts of things in this book. It's really helpful and honestly, if you do it "by the book", it should cost you very little since you can network for the lawn debris and barn litter from your friends and neighbors.
It is basic, easy to understand, and doable. I like that. I borrowed this book from my neighbor, but I might just need to own a copy for myself.
We will be going with raised box/beds as our knees just ain't what they used to be and we plan on gardening until we drop. Makes since to build something that will last as we age. We also have to fence it from deer. So the raised beds will provide the first 3 feet of fencing and from taller posts, we will wrap deer netting around up to 10 feet. Our deer are very crafty and very determined. So are the squirrels.
In May (the 19th to be exact), I ran a blog post about a Native American print I have hanging in my home and the synchronistic way in which I found out more information about this print that has always spoken volumes to me.
Then, this month, I received an email from a reader who tells me she also has a connection to this image and that "Navajo Boy" has been her spirit guide. I love how the synchronicities just keep rippling out.
We've been conversing ever since and are turning into quite the pen pals. What an unexpected pleasure!
Shortly before I woke up, I was having a very vivid dream. In this dream, a heavyset woman and many children came to my house. They were seeking donations so that she could buy shoes for her children. There was a story that went with it, but I don't recall that.
The other details I remember were noticing that she already had with her a large bag of shoe boxes from Payless Shoes. I remember asking her how much the shoes she was hoping to purchase cost, and she told me they were around $9.99 each pair.
I can remember doing this assessment in my head that so many people do..."Am I being lied to? What does she really want the money for? Why does she have the shoes already?" I also made mental note that her story seemed truthful, all of her children in line with it. I noted that $9.99 were very inexpensive shoes so what she was asking for was not unreasonable. I asked her if $25 would help and they all seemed super excited. Why that figure, I have no idea. I got my checkbook and I was to make the check out to Roberts Memorial Trust.
I also remember doing a little argument in my head. It always irks me when people assume that anyone asking for something will misuse what they get, are dishonest, are lying, will use the money for drugs or booze or will use it foolishly. That always pisses me off, and yet, those ideas will ring through my head every time. I've been influenced by the people who assume that anyone who is poor is also dishonest, or stupid, or lazy. I hate that attitude. But it crept into my thoughts in this dream. And my final analysis was, I gave what I could afford to give, based on the best information I had, and I am no less blessed for giving and trusting. No matter what someone does with my gift, I still gave it. It is wise to look within to see if what is being asked feels like a reasonable and truly helpful request. If it doesn't, move on, decline, or offer something else that seems to fit better. If giving money seems wrong, offer to buy a gift certificate or food or whatever the exact thing is they want money for. But never assume that poverty, need, begging equals laziness or dishonesty. I would venture to guess that 99% of the time it can be taken at face value. And who really needs to worry themselves about the 1%?
In analysis or interpretation:
Shoes: Grounding. Things which protect you on your journey through life. Do not judge another until you have walked in his or her shoes. Wearing too many shoes, filling too man y roles.
Children: Aspects of yourself, such as vulnerability, innocence, openness, flexibility, playfulness. Your own children mirror your attitudes and beliefs. Often suggests you have forgotten the child part of self. (I'm pretty sure that last sentence is spot on.).
As for the Robert Memorial Trust. My son's name is Robert....and I have often worried for his safety and is life expectancy. Other than that, I'm not sure why that information was so clear as to who I was making the check out to. It would also indicate that the woman was legit since a "trust" can be taken so many ways; a literal legal trust, or a personal trust in her for starters. She would have trouble cashing a check made out to a trust unless there really was a legal trust.
The bottom line seemed to be to just give and not get hung up in the details of how your gift will be used or if you are being scammed. "Trust" your first impressions and give from your heart.
I had almost forgotten about these experiences, when today, for whatever reason, they came back to me. It's about "The Helpers" that have shown up before during healing sessions with clients. They are beings of light that have come to assist me during energy healing.
Most of the time, if I remember, I pray at the start of the session (for lack of a better word for it) for the client and for me. For me to be a clear channel of healing energy. For the client and for me to receive that which is right and good for us both during our time together. For me to keep my head out of it and my agenda out of it and just allow whatever healing is appropriate for us both to flow. I often say something like "As I heal, may I also be healed".
Once in a while, beings of light, that I've come to refer to as "The Helpers" or "The Healers", show up. I see them in my mind's eye and I feel them in the room. They take up position around the client, often anywhere between 6 and 8 of them. In my mind's eye, they look sort of like an Academy award, or a statue of the Madonna; they are of a pillar-type shape, and are nondescript in feature. They are just vaguely shaped white light. They are genderless. And they have a sense of humor.
When I am in their presence, I understand that they have come to do most of the work, and it is often "surgical or medical" in nature and I am just holding the space while they do their work. They give off the impression of both a surgical team, and a team of auto mechanics (which is where the humor comes in). I'll get the impression of them bent over, hard at work, looking into the body of the person, digging around, and every so often picking something out and looking at it as if to say "What the heck is this? We don't need this!" and then they fling it over their shoulder and keep working. I have no idea exactly what they are doing.
Sometimes the client will feel something different, and will be confused about where I am if their eyes are closed because they feel "my" hands in other places on their body. It depends on how open they are if I tell them what I see or not. If they can handle knowing, I tell them and they are often grateful, saying "welcome, or thank you". If they can't handle such a thing I simply tell them where my hands are and that it is not uncommon to have different bodily sensations during a healing session (because that's an honest answer).
I can't even tell you how many times they've shown up. Not very many. Perhaps half a dozen or so. But I always feel at peace, and I always feel less pressure...like I know that they will handle it and my job is sort of like the anesthesiologist; just keep the "patient" calm, relaxed, comfortable with my hands and voice.
For those of you who have experienced energy healing, have you ever felt others in the room with you, or a sensation that you were being touched somewhere other than where the practitioner was working?
If you're a practitioner, have you ever experienced helpers during sessions?
I'm not aware of any personal guide(s) that work with me all of the time. That would be cool, and I'm told we all have one or more. Maybe one day, or maybe that is just a belief and not everyone has a guide(s). I know I've had helpers from time to time for certain periods of time or for certain lessons, but not ongoing. I've not seen "the Helpers/Healers" in a few years now, but I know they'll show up when needed.
Note: Please see the August 17, 2012 blog post for the follow up review.
So far, I can only give you a partial review of this business because we've been having not the greatest luck making a horse trip happen. I'll give you what I've got so far, and add more later.
Eagle Cap Wilderness Pack Station, situated at Wallow Lake in Northeast Oregon, offers horse back sightseeing tours and wilderness camping opportunities.
But here's the deal...we haven't gone yet. And I want to. My assessment thus far is that they are probably really fantastic at the outdoor opportunity part and not so fantastic about the business/office end of things.
In May (and you may have read about my bummed out birthday bash), we contacted ECWPS to book a horseback ride for my 50th birthday, our 6th anniversary, and Mother's day. We were told to just show up, and they assured us they would be open that weekend. So we booked a room up at the lake for two nights, and came the night before our ride. We showed up the next day and couldn't find anybody. We went back to our motel and called and were told that they had decided not to be open that weekend. I was not happy. AT ALL. So unhappy, that the owner dropped by our motel with a complimentary pass for two for a ride in the future. The reason they were not opening that weekend was that their shoer had not shown up the day before. So that was a not-good impression of the business to start with.
Fast forward to July. Around the 18th, I emailed the ECWS to request a reservation for two for a 4 hour ride using our comp passes for either the 30th or the 31st. No reply. I emailed again on the 27th and no reply. Oh, sure, I can use the phone and call them, but I decided I wanted to assess, as part of my review, how they handled reservations, and requests. It is apparent that while their website encourages contact via email, they don't check email often enough to respond in a timely manner. That's a real pet peeve of mine. If a person has a website, and lists a contact via email, I am under the belief that it is vitally important that they actually check email and respond to it in a timely manner. If they are the type that doesn't really dig computers, and I get that, then only list a phone number on the web site, and don't list an email address.
So here we are in August, and there has still not been a reply. As part of my assessment, I'm going to see how long it takes before they notice. And hopefully, when we DO connect, we will be able to book a trip before the snow flies. Like I said, I could call, but I'm curious. So far, what I would tell you is that you should call them by phone for reservations and then double, triple, quadruple check in with them about said reservations before you make the trip (unless you're close enough to make a day trip and then it's really no big deal). And maybe don't book a trip for a special occasion, just in case they bump you, don't answer the phone, don't answer email, or decide just not to be open.
I'll update when we actually make contact and have a horse ride. I bet they do a really nice ride, that the views are stunning and the experience second to none...if you can book a time.
This summer, my husband and I visited the Union County Museum, located in Union, Oregon. We live in La Grande, just 20 minutes away and yet, we never seem to visit any of the local attractions. We thought it was high time to be a tourist in our own region, so we went one Saturday afternoon.
We had heard that it was a pretty nice museum for a tiny town, and that is correct. We first thought it would be tiny, but it turns out to be 5 rooms (including two outbuildings) with a rather extensive collection of local historical items. You could easily spend a few hours there.
Admission is currently $4 for adults. The museum is all volunteer run, and the day of our visit, the volunteer was very friendly, interested, knowledgeable, and accessible. We enjoyed our visit and were pleasantly surprised. And Union Oregon has some amazing historical buildings and houses that are worth a walking tour.
Their website is new and under construction, so visit often to see what's new on the site.
I got this recipe from the Shiny Cooking website and she, in turn, adapted it from the Vegetarian Classics cookbook by Jeanne Lemlin (see link at the end of this post).
It doesn't have any actual tea in it, it's more like sweet ginger water. But it's good. Really good. Ginger is super good for your immune system too. I further adapted the recipe by substituting Agave syrup for the sugar as it has a lower glycemic index and a bit more nutritional value. Adjust the water/ginger/sweetener to your taste. I triple this recipe to make a bit more than two quarts. Why make such a small batch at a time?
Sweet Ginger Iced "Tea"
Yield: 3 1/2 cups, enough for 2 large glasses or up to 4 small glasses (so why not make more?)
2 1/2 Cups water
3 Tbsp ginger, finely chopped (or grated) leave the skin on
3 Tbsp granulated sugar (or Agave syrup/nectar)
1 cup cold water
Heat the 2 1/2 cups water and the chopped ginger in a small saucepan until boiling. Lower the heat and simmer for 10 minutes. Remove from heat and strain into a pitcher of your choice (large enough to hold up to 4 cups). Add sugar and stir until dissolved (I just put the sweetener into the water/ginger mixture while it simmers...why not?). Now you can add the 1 cup of cold water to begin cooling it down a bit. Refrigerate until well-chilled, and serve over ice.
There seems to be a theme developing: I don't know where I got this recipe. Dang me!
I like it on it's own as a light vegetarian meal, but most people will enjoy it as a high-protein side dish. It's super easy. That's a theme for me too :-)
Tex-Mex Bean Salad
1 can black beans
1 can kidney beans
1 can cannellini, garbanzo or navy beans
Rinse drain and rinse beans and toss into a large bowl. I use organic canned beans whenever I can. You could throw green or wax beans in there if you must. Whatever floats your boat.
Add:
1 green and one red bell pepper, chopped
1 can corn, drained
1 sweet onion, minced
Whisk together:
1/2 cup clear oil (I use 1/4 cup instead)
1/2 cup red wine vinegar
The juice AND zest of on large lemon
2 Tbsp sugar
2 tsp salt
1 tsp crushed garlic (or garlic powder)
1 and 1/2 tsp ground cumin
1 and 1/2 tsp ground black pepper
Combine veggies and beans in a bowl. Whisk liquids/spices in separate bowl. Pour dressing over beans. Season with hot sauce if desired. Chill thoroughly. Serve cold.
This is a super-duper easy recipe. All I can tell you about the origin of the recipe is that, over 25 years ago, or maybe even more, my dad was in Micronesia and had this dish in a restaurant there. The restaurant gave him the recipe when he asked. I don't know which restaurant but it was on the island formerly known as Truk and I believe it was in a hotel.
My dad died over 20 years ago, so this recipe makes me think of him.
Now you can use any type of chicken that you want...you can use bone-in pieces, dark, light, whatever you want, and the amount of chicken isn't exact. I get enough to fill my deep frying pan so there are some left overs. We use boneless skinless breasts cut into thirds or fourths (I personally don't like trying to get a saucy piece of chicken off the bone on my plate).
Chicken Ababo
Chicken (remember? any amount you feel like, in any configuration)
Shake pieces in bag of flour to coat, brown in a little oil
Sprinkle with salt and pepper
When it's browned, Add to the pan:
1 sliced onion (or two, or three...whatever)
Pour over this: 1/4 cup soy sauce (or Tamari, or Bragg Liquid Aminos) and a "little water"...no more than 1/4 cup).
Cover with a lid on medium to low heat and simmer until the chicken is tender and done through. Take the lid off and reduce the liquid until it is as thick or thin as you want it.
You can serve this over rice, or just on it's own with a veg. Not very many ingredients, one pan, and YUMMY!
I have no idea where I found this recipe. Sorry. Honest, I don't. I should keep better track. My husband even finds it substantial enough for him even though it is a vegetarian recipe. The only thing I hate about it? Stuffing the manicotti shells. It's just plain messy.
The only thing I've found that helps a little is to use a food processor to make the filling as smooth as possible, and then put it in a gallon zip lock and snip off the corner and pipe it out into the shells like you would with a pastry bag (only you can throw it away when you're done). Even so, it's still not that easy for me, and it is still messy. If I had a great system for filling the shells, I might make this all the time, cuz it really is easy otherwise.
Cheesy Vegetarian Manicotti
1 28 oz jar chunky spaghetti sauce
2 (10 oz) pkg frozen chopped spinach (thawed/squeezed)
1 (12 oz) tub small curd cottage cheese (you may opt for no or low fat)
1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese
1 tsp oregano
1/4 tsp pepper
1 (8 oz) box of manicotti shells (14)
2 cups grated mozzarella
Spray a 13x9 inch pan
Preheat oven to 350 degrees
Spread about 1/3 of sauce in baking dish
Mix spinach, cottage cheese, parmesan, oregano, pepper in food processor until as smooth as possible. (This will help you with filling the shells later).
Fill the shells (like I said, try anything that works for you to get that filling into those shells) and place in the pan.
Pour remaining sauce over shells, covering evenly.
Cover with foil. Bake for one hour.
Sprinkle with mozzerella. Bake 15-20 minutes longer or until shells are tender.
Once again, I have no idea where this recipe originated. I got it from my mother. My mother got it from a woman in her TOPS group. It makes a great summer salad.
I'll let you in on another thrifty secret: if you use a slotted spoon when you serve it, you can use the marinade for another batch after the first batch (saving you time and money), and after that batch is gone, drain it into a small bottle and use it like French Dressing. It's great on lots of things.
I love this salad so much I can usually eat a giant bowl of it in a day or two...single-handedly. But usually I have to share it with my husband. DRAT!
Sweet And Sour Carrots
2 lbs sliced carrots
cook/steam until semi-soft. Cool quickly in cold water. Put in a large bowl.
Add:
One sliced sweet onion
Marinade:
1 Cup Sugar (I KNOW, right?)
1/2 Cup clear oil (I use 1/4 cup)
3/4 cup vinegar (I used organic Apple Cider vinegar)
1 Can Cream of Tomato Soup (what? That's weird!)
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper
Whisk to emulsify. Pour over carrots/onions. Toss well. Cover. Let marinade for 24 hours if you can stand it.
This Sci-Fi Western (is that a new genre?) starring Daniel Craig, Harrison Ford and Olivia Wild has the acting chops to back up this unlikely storyline.
In Cowboys and Aliens, we really aren't told what era the story takes place in but one could glean it to be in the late 1800's or the early 1900's in a dusty western setting.
Nobody knows what's going on at first, but eventually, they discover that there are aliens who have landed to steal gold and experiment on the human race to discover what it will take to overthrow and destroy it. There are a couple of interesting, and unexpected twists which I won't spoil for you. A small group of unlikely ruffians make a stand to try to fend off the destruction of earth.
You really can't beat the cast. I mean COME ON! Harrison Ford, Daniel Craig and Olivia Wilde??? Shut the front door! They are all awesome in their roles. Sometimes Daniel Craig reminds me a little of Freddie Kruger in his over-sized hat, but I was able to overlook that. The acting is top-notch. The special effects are respectable and the story is reasonably well-developed. I liked it.
Probably the only thing I didn't enjoy were the areas of suspense followed by jump out of your seat (albeit predictable) alien-in-your-face jumpy stuff. I don't dig that, but I survived. Go see it. Then tell me what YOU think. I say, it's worth seeing.
I did not know it was a book (by Scott Mitchell Rosenberg). I bet the book is good!
On a whim, from a bargain bin, I picked up one of these Sally Hansen Nail Art Pens. Sort of a sharpie for fingernails. The one I purchased was gold (which turns out looks more like copper to me, which is fine). I paid $3.49 for this one (but that was the bargain bin price).
I found it reasonably easy to use...on one hand...and considerably harder on the other. Maybe it would be fun for a girl coffee date, to work on each other's nails. Plus my imagination was limited, AND I only had one pen to play with.
Since I already had on a dark steel colored polish, I did a little striping on my fingernails, and a swirl on my big toenail. That was sort of fun. The next time I used it I attempted to use it on a clear base by coloring the white portion of my nail (like you would for a french mani), and some stripes. A little hard to keep a steady line. My home photos rather suck. I can't seem to get a good photo of them without either a blur or the flash washing out the entire thing.
It's fun, but I think I'm not very artistic or steady handed.
I wasn't thrilled with my handiwork and I think that nail art stickers are a little easier to work with if you aren't very artsy-fartsy or if you don't have a super steady (and ambidextrous) hand.
It's always fun to play on a hot summer day and the price was right, so what the heck.
Oh, and apparently it isn't really like nail polish...so after it dries, you need to put a clear coat over it to seal it. I think mistakes will clean up with water until you seal it with a clear coat.
As I think I've mentioned, I've struggled to warm up to lentils. I'm not the hugest fan. So when I find something that I like, well enough to make it twice, I share. I got if from my go-to cookbook Totally Vegetarian by Toni Fiore.
This is a Lentil stew. I like it mostly for it's strong lemony flavor (I ad extra lemon). I made it once for dinner and my husband didn't find it hearty enough for him. He liked it OK, but it didn't seem to satisfy him as a dinner meal. So I make it for me. I make a double batch (which is still only about a half of a dutch oven size pot full), and freeze in pint sizes. I eat it cold. I dish up about a cup full from the fridge, grab a piece of flat bread, and eat the two together. Makes a super fast, high-protein meal. And since there is no meat, it's good to take on the go without the need for refrigeration during the morning.
The recipe calls for French Puy or green lentils. I find them in bulk at my health food store. They are a little more bean shaped than lentil shaped and they are said to be firmer when cooked, so they keep their shape. That's not vitally important though...any lentil will do. No matter what color they start out, they all end up a nondescript greyish color in the pot. The main point would be to monitor them while they cook. It's nicer if they have a little shape and texture to them, so stop the process when they are soft enough to bite without a raw taste or a crunch and firm enough they don't turn to paste.
Lentil Stew
3 TBsp extra virgin olive oil
1 large yellow onion, chopped
2 celery stalks, diced
heat oil, and saute the onions and celery for about 7 minutes Add:
2 cloves finely chopped garlic and saute for a few min longer
Add:
1/2 cup finely chopped parsley (stir in well) Add:
1 1/2 cups lentils (rinsed and picked over for stones)
4 cups vegetable stock (or water)
bring to a boil, immediately turn heat down to a low simmer and cook gently for about 30 minutes or just until the lentils are tender but still hold their shape. Remove from heat
Season to taste with salt and pepper
Add the zest and the juice of one whole lemon (the recipe just calls for a "good squeeze")...trust me on this.
It's ready to serve. The recipe suggests spooning it over a bed of baby spinach leaves. I didn't love that so much. But you decide how you want to serve it. I like dipping flat bread wedges into it. It makes a small recipe so you can then decide how you want to tweak it for next time...when you'll want to double it. It's super easy...even for me.
I don't always measure stuff in this recipe exactly, and you don't have to either, once you've made it and decided how you like it. And buy the cook book...it's a good one!
Edamame (soy beans) and Apple Salad
1 lb frozen, shelled edamame
1 Tbsp canola or other vegetable oil (not olive oil since it gets a little clumpy when refrigerated)
1/4 cup rice vinegar (it really calls for seasoned sushi rice vinegar but we don't have that where I live)
1/4 tsp fine sea salt
1/4 tsp fresh ground black pepper
1 Granny Smith Apple, cored, and cut into 1/4 inch dice (the apples where I shop are small, so I might use 4 of them).
1 8 oz jicama, peeled and diced small (around here, they now dip them in wax...it's so gross...you really have to pare all of that off and not get any in the salad)
1/2 to 1 cup lightly packed chopped cilantro
Sometimes I will also add the juice and zest of a whole lemon with a little bit of sugar...that's my addition and I love it. I will also just grab a very large jicama and 4 or 5 apples using the same amount of cilantro and dressing to make a giant bowl. How ever much will fit in the bowl...that's the limit.
Mix the oil, vinegar (lemon if you use it, sugar if you use it), salt, pepper. You can mix it in the bottom of a large mixing bowl and then start dumping in your chopped up ingredients. If you've got a lid that fits that bowl, so much the better...put the lid on and shake it all up. It doesn't keep super well, so eat it up in a day or two.
You know how you can be watching TV and you hear "We interrupt this broadcast to bring you the following message...", and then there is some (hopefully) important news? That happened in my dream.
It was very early Wednesday, July 27th 2011. I was dreaming of someone I hadn't seen in a long time. And it was one of those random, nonsensical dreams that probably wouldn't even make the list of a dream to analyze.
As background, This person, whom I haven't seen in a while, now has Alzheimer's and has had for a number of years. We lived next door to each other for 16 years but I really haven't seen her but a couple of times since I moved 6 years ago. That's the backdrop.
So there I am, having the random dream when just as clear as can be, it was "preempted". And how it was preempted was with a very clear image of opening an email and seeing the following words:
"Sorry. (as if you say..."sorry for this interruption"). Just wanted to let you know that _______ died early this morning."
I woke up. I checked the clock. It was just a few minutes before 1 a.m.
In the days following, there has been no report of her death. I have no idea what to make of this. It seemed very linear...because the part about her death cut into the nonsensical part of the dream. I'm baffled. But that's nothing new.
I'm one of those people who happens to think that His Holiness the Dalai Lama is a very cool dude. If I could hear him speak somewhere, I would probably go. He might even make it to the list of people I would love to meet.
The book How to Expand Love by the Dalai Lama is as the name implies, a book with tips and meditations on fostering greater levels of compassion, understanding and love toward all people. It is broken down into Seven Steps:
A "pre-step" is to practice avoiding putting people into categories such as friend of foe.
Step One involves beginning to think more positively about people in an ever widening circle.
Step Two is to reflect on family and friends and all of the love and positive regard this generates.
Step Three involves returning the kindness of others with kind regard and the wish for their enlightenment.
Step Four involves learning to love by acknowledging the many ways in which each person suffers.
Step Five involves practicing cultivating compassion by fostering a deep desire that all beings be freed of their suffering.
Step Six shows how to become committed to altruism.
Step Seven involves turning love and compassion to the highest level of helping serve a wide variety of beings to achieve enlightenment.
Clear as mud, right? There are a few challenges up front if you are not familiar with Buddhism and some of the beliefs, and terms may be new to you. Also, it is obviously a translation into English and there are things that may not translate quite as well between languages. What I can do here is to give you, what my impression of the distillation of the entire book is. These are my words and I could be wrong, but here goes:
All beings suffer. All beings want to be happy and to live well. Due to whatever challenges, karma, learning WHATEVER it may be, some people suffer greatly and in their suffering cause harm and suffering to others. If we can begin to see that underneath it all, all people are doing their best and are in pain and have the same hopes and desires for happiness as we do, then there is no need to see people as friend or enemy. Each person we come into contact with has been in a previous incarnation with us as friend or foe over and over and over playing a different role in each.
Once we see that all beings have similar underlying goals and needs, they become more like us and less "other than us". This can help us to develop greater compassion for all. A meditation that comes up over and over again in one form or another in this book is paraphrased by me as this:
May all beings be free of suffering and the root causes of suffering.
May all beings find health, happiness, healing and wholeness.
May all beings reach enlightenment (or full spiritual development).
Everyone I meet is trying to make it just like me. May I show compassion for where they are in their journey.
Now certainly, the Dalai Lama isn't saying that one must become a dormat to be hurt and abused. But one can set a healthy boundary not to allow others to purposely harm them while at the same time keeping thought of anger and retribution off the table. I can set a a boundary to not spend time with people who are unkind to me, while not making a judgement about their worth as a human being. I can hold the best hope for them to improve and grow and overcome their suffering and challenges that cause them to act out in hurtful ways.
It's a little along the lines of "walking a mile in someones shoes" before judging them...and then not judging them. It involves practicing to internalize that "we are all in this thing together" and that each and every one of us is on a journey with challenges. At any given point in our lives we may be stable or unstable, kind or unkind. Others are the same. By giving love and holding all beings to a strong desire for peace and happiness, it is possible to change the energy of their lives with all of the love that will come their way. We gain nothing through anger and hatred and choosing of factions. Nothing. Zip. Nada.
That's what I THINK I got from the book. It is a good reminder and at the heart of the message I am on board. The book however was a disappointment. It is a short (200 page, small, not much print to a page) book and in each section there are many times and places where the same exact words are reprinted over and over and over again, with just a slightly different twist (that's why I paraphrased). Quite honestly, it feels as though since the Dalai Lama is so popular, it was a way to throw a book on the market to generate money based on his name and popularity, not the quality of the contents. To me, the book just didn't have enough content throughout and was too repetitious.
But, like I said...I still think he is one cool dude. I'm just not sure I'll be buying his books. I'll leave you with a few really great quotes from Chapter 1:
"All religions teach a message of love, compassion, sincerity, and honesty. Each system seeks its own way to improve life for us all. Yet if we put too much emphasis on our own philosophy, religion or theory, becoming too attached to it, and try to impose it on other people, the result will be trouble....
...Each one of us is responsible for all of humankind. We need to think of each other as true brothers and sisters, and to be concerned with each others welfare. We must seek to lessen the suffering of others. Rather than working solely to acquire wealth, we need to do something meaningful, something seriously directed toward the welfare of humanity as a whole...
...Being motivated by compassion and love, respecting the rights of others - this is real religion...
...The goal must be to serve others, not dominate them...
...This is my simple religion. No need for temples. No need for complicated philosophy. Your own mind, your own heart, is the temple; your philosophy is simple kindness.
I really like this recipe...and the more lemony the better. It is listed as an appetizer, but I like it as a between meal snack, or as a light lunch. My husband hates eggplant, so I make this just for me. Sure, it might not LOOK very good, but it really is.
And it's easy to make. I just do it on a day when I'm going to be around a bit, or bake the eggplant ahead. That's the only part you really have to wait for; everything else goes in the food processor.
Here's the video on how to make it. I just got a pen and paper and started and stopped the video to write down the instructions and ingredients. Toni has a cooking show on PBS called Totally Vegetarian. I also have her book and recommend it. You don't have to be a vegetarian to enjoy the recipes. They're just good.
When I was in Hollywood with my son in July, we went to the trendy teen store HotTopic. I bought my first feathered hair extension. And now I'm hooked. I've since ordered more online.
My mom will turn over in her yet to be filled grave. She's got specific ideas about what is acceptable fashion, and what is acceptable age groups for certain styles. These would not fit in either one of hers.
I think they are all kinds of fun. You can trim the ones made out of colored fake hair to your desired length. They have a tiny comb on one end and you lift up a light layer of your hair, and slide the comb onto hair underneath the small layer, and bend it closed. Then it appears to be blended into your natural hair.
They have feathers, beaded feathers, died hair strips, hair strips with rhinestones...and more fun stuff coming out all the time.
I like things like henna, fake piercings, clip in hair extensions. It allows me to play without the commitment (or pain, or extra expense).
Many of these hair accessories are only $5.99 with some of them up to $10, which is pretty reasonable for fun that will make your aged mother swoon with mortification.
I've heard the term before, but didn't really know what it was. And recently, I heard the term again, so I looked it up. This description is reprinted from Nature's Child website, so be sure to visit them and buy some of their cool stuff.
I've been to bridal showers and baby showers, and honestly, I find them silly and meaningless. Sometimes it's an excuse for a party (which isn't my thing to begin with) and sometimes it's set up to get a bunch of presents (which I find somewhat offensive). I never liked them. Some people do and that's fine. But when I read about Blessing Ways, I really liked this. There is much variation in Blessing Ways, some are more conservative and some are more liberal...it depends on the mom and her circle of friends.
They are not common to American culture, as we tend to be not very communally-oriented. They are born of cultural systems where the community of women is strong and supportive. See what you think.
Create Your Own Blessing Way
A Blessing Way is a wonderful alternative to the traditional 'baby shower' that is held for a woman approaching birth. Traditionally, a woman invites those people closest to her, in whose friendship and wisdom she trusts. You can invite friends to bring a plate of food and/or a gift if you like, but a special ceremony as part of your day in the central feature of a blessing way.
History of Blessing Ways
Blessing ways are traditional to North American Indian’s who mark the transition a woman makes when she moves from maiden to mother. This rite of passage is the second ‘blood rite’ for a woman, the first being her first menstruation. It is a time of receiving for the mother to be, a time where she is nurtured and honoured by her community of women.
The Blessing Way ceremony acknowledges the commitment and energy involved in being a mother and gives her a time where all the energy is available for her to receive. This ceremony can be given to a woman each time she has a child, as with each child comes a new level of commitment and surrender. The key is for the ‘mother to be’ to allow herself to receive and ‘fill her cup’ as deeply as possible. The blessing way is also a powerful way to assist in the mother’s preparation for birth. It gives other mothers present in the circle the opportunity to share experiences. Often it is a time when the ‘mother to be’ can express any fears or worries in a safe and sacred setting and receive the support she needs.
Here are some ideas that you can include in your special day as you create your own, personal ‘ Blessing Way’
¥ Bead Ceremony – Each woman is asked to bring a bead for a blessing necklace. At some time during the ceremony a bowl is handed around the circle and each woman gives her bead and a blessing for mother and baby. At the end of the ceremony one of the women threads the beads together and gives the necklace to the mother to have with her during the birth. This gives the mother to be a connection to all her women friends when she is birthing.
¥ Binding of the wrists – The woman running the ritual brings a real of wool or fine thread. This is bound around each woman’s left wrist by the woman who sits to the left of her, as each woman binds the thread on the other woman’s wrist she says ‘ from women we were born into this circle, from women we were born unto this earth’.
This ritual is symbolic of the thread that connects us all as women. It also keeps each women tuned into the birthing mother as she leads up to her time. When she goes into labour, all women in her circle are contacted through the phone tree and each woman breaks the thread and sends a blessing for an easy birth. This circle of women can then be contacted once the baby is born and be invited to support the mother in practical way that allow a new mother to relax and bond with her baby, which is her priority right now.
¥ Massaging the Mother – Take along some lush, pregnancy friendly, massage oils and be sure to give her the full treatment with as many women as possible joining in. Brush her hair, give her a facial, whatever indulgence she wants.
¥ Flowers – Flowers are symbolic of natures’ abundance and beauty just as a woman is when she is in her full pregnant bloom. Be sure to ask all women to bring flowers and create a beautiful alter with them. A flower crown is a beautiful thing to have for the mother.
¥ Singing – The singing of songs to celebrate woman, pregnancy and birth is a beautiful way to honour and share at a blessing way. Each women may bring a song or poem or instrument to play, or you may have a talented friend who can lead the group in song.
¥ Post Birth Support – On the day of the Blessing Way Ceremony have a close friend take the names and contact details of each woman present to be put on a ‘support roster’ for bringing meals after the birth. Each woman brings one meal (ensuring the ingredients are breast feeding friendly) to the new mother and helps out in any way she can when she drops it off – eg dishwashing, clothes washing etc… This support is invaluable for the new mum at a big transition time in her life.
Add your own ideas inspired by this list that creates a day that suits your own personality and celebrates your unique wisdom and experience!
I want one! It's not too likely that I'll be getting pregnant anymore in this lifetime though. Hopefully, I'll be invited to one. I've been invited to a support party once. A woman I knew had been ill, had had a heart attack. One of her friends organized a healing party. We all brought some heart-healthy dish to share, we brought poems to read to brighten her day and express our love for her, and we laid hands on her to offer healing and transmit love. It was a little uncomfortable since it was all very new to me, and I didn't know the women in attendance very well, but it stuck with me as so much nicer than a "get well soon" card or some flowers that will die. She has the poems and the memories of those who came together to wish her health. I think that's kinds of cool.
I think birthday parties should be planned in a similar fashion. Instead of just random food/cake/booze...what could you create to make it memorable?
On my 40th birthday, my sister hosted a party for me where she invited a few of my friends (I don't like large groups), and made us a gourmet dinner (something social workers never really get). Yes, alcohol flowed, but it was within reason (for most). Margaritas, and a watermelon full of fruit with a nice fruity wine poured over it. And people took turns giving me nice cards and gifts to welcome in what to many is a tragic birthday. It really is one I remember above all others (except the one where I got my new purple bike with the streamers, and banana seat...I was 8).
What is your best, most memorable and MEANINGFUL gathering?
I know, I know, you were thinking (or morbidly hoping) that this post would involve me going postal on some X's of mine with a machine gun, right? No, nothing like that...still a bit freaky, but I wasn't the angry one.
What I remember of the dream is this:
It was night and dark. I was outside in a residential neighborhood. My first husband, who I married in 1979, divorced in 1986, and who died in 2000, comes rounding the corner on a motorcycle, wielding an automatic rifle much like the one you see above. He's in a PTSD fog, is blind drunk, and thinks he's in Viet Nam. He's shooting that gun continuously, and I appear to be his target. Sidebar...it isn't the face of my X but the actor Craig T. Nelson.
At first I'm running and eventually that turns to me on the ground, to me on the ground in the fetal position with my hands over my ears and head just waiting for the fatal bullet. But I'm also screaming his name...only I must note at this point that I'm screaming the name of the X boyfriend that came after him...who I was engaged to from around 1986 to 1988 (on and off). I'm screaming his name to snap him out of his trance, so that he remembers where he is and who I am and what he's doing. But he keep shooting for the longest time. Bits of cement from the street and sidewalk are splintering into me. Glass and other shards of everything around me that the bullets are splintering off embedding in my skin. I'm not sure if I'm hit or not. It's painful. There's no way I shouldn't be full of bullets, but I seem to still be alive.
He gets closer after crashing his bike, staggering toward me in a blind rage, shooting all the while. And I keep crying and screaming his name...that's all...just his name. Finally, something shakes loose and he stops. He blinks. He's still disoriented but the look on his face as he takes in what he's just done is utter shock. He collapses near me on the ground. All is still. We're both bleeding but neither one of us is hit with a bullet. He lays down on the ground with me and lays his head on my leg.
That's it. That's when I woke up. One thing I note is how I feel. One would expect terror, one would expect rapid pulse, panting, sweating, shaking, crying. But what I felt was an overwhelming sense of sadness. Nothing more, just exhausted sadness.
According to The Dream Book, guns, shooting, being chased with a gun, being shot or shot at, all have a theme to do with sexual energy and sexuality. Perhaps...but I think I'm going to put that thought aside for a moment and give you my OWN interpretation of the dream.
Motorcycle: When I knew my X, he never had a motorcycle, however, he died in a motorcycle crash in 2000.
Gun: My X had an automatic rifle...different from the one shown but he still had it. Probably an illegal one too. Given his temper, I was always pretty afraid he would get angry and shoot me or somebody else. To my knowledge, I don't recall ever seeing ammo that went with it, but I'm sure it existed.
PTSD: My X was a Viet Nam vet with severe PTSD. Sometimes he wouldn't really know where he was if we got into an argument and I would become "the enemy", a threat to his life. Pretty scary stuff. Counseling didn't help, especially since he wouldn't stay with it.
Drunkenness: My X had problems with alcohol and drugs and was a binge drinker who could do some awful things when drunk. Tie this to the fact that I've been thinking of someone close to me in my life who has a serious alcohol problem and all of my concerns for them. Those concerns tie in with my history with my X and the destructiveness I witnessed with the overuse of alcohol. So that's been on my mind in my waking times.
Craig T. Nelson: Holy crap...I have no freaking idea where that comes into play. I have not seen him on TV in a long while. Certainly not recently enough to trigger him popping up in my dreams. I like him as an actor but he's just not on my radar screen. Well, OK, apparently last night he was. Maybe it represents that he wasn't himself, that it was not the man I knew and loved that did these things, but an alter ego, or the person he became with mental illness overtook him or drugs overtook him. Maybe I was being shown that it was him, but not him at his heart. A mask. Often times we would joke about his sign being Gemini...the twins...he really did seem to have a split personality or a dual personality with one side of him that could lose total control.
Dark and alone on a residential street: Now with all of that shooting, one would think that the police would have been called and a swat team dispatched. But there was nobody. It was like a movie set. Empty of people for all of those houses. I take it to mean that in this relationship, or in life in general, I feel alone and on my own. Like I have to tackle all of my problems by myself without the help of anyone else. When I married this guy I knew my odds weren't good and I had a lot of people try to talk me out of it. So when it failed, I knew it was on me and my responsibility to deal with. I had nobody to blame buy myself for my poor choice. I had to deal with the fallout on my own. At least that's how I played it.
Then being a single mother, trying to prove I could handle it all on my own, and discovering I had a special needs child and all of the years of fighting systems for his care, I just became a lone wolf, never letting anyone assist me. I always had to stay strong and tough. I pretty much always felt alone, and in the dark.
Being shot at but not shot: There really is no way, given the scenario of the dream for me to have not been shot totally full of holes. You can't outrun a machine gun. There are a lot of ways I could take this. I could take it that no matter what comes my way, I have the strength to withstand it and survive. I could take it that I might be wounded but never taken down. I could take it that no matter what my X did, his intention really never was to hurt or harm me even though it often turned out that way. He did some awful things, but he was mentally unstable, addicted, and unpredictable. I do believe that he loved me in his own way and to his capacity to do so. The shrapnel is just the wounds that people give us, or that we accumulate through living life. But they are wounds that can heal and need not maim.
My X having the name of my next X: I don't understand why the form of my X was an actor with the name of the boyfriend/fiance that came after him. The next guy, Jeff, came on the shirt tales of my divorce. We were together 2 years and sort of engaged (but that part is a long story). He never in a million years would have raised a hand to hurt me, nor do I recall him yelling at me. In our relationship, I was the one who was not fully in control. I was angry. I was tired of being controlled, so I turned the tables. If anything I was somewhat abusive to him. I just wasn't ready. The timing was all wrong. He was a good guy but I'm sure, the wrong guy and the very "wrongest" time.
So how did I end up with the "two birds with one stone" scenario? How do I have an actor, who is my X, who has the name of another X? Oh wouldn't Freud have a heyday with this???!
Here's what I think. Unfinished business. Regrets. Grief. Loss. They play out and release in layers. Pain they caused me. Pain I caused them. Poor choices. Immaturity. Lacking skills. Whenever a person breaks up with another, despite the pain or anger that may be present to make the break possible, these were people that I once loved deeply...no matter my motivation, skill, maturity, or choosing abilities were...I chose them. They taught me so much about myself. I wouldn't want to go back and do it again, or do it differently. They were in my life because they were supposed to be in my life.
And while we heal, sometimes we may walk with a little limp, or have visible scars, or injuries that flair up when a storm is brewing. There are often little reminders or triggers that bring up what is left simmering under the surface. I used to lament this thinking "I THOUGHT I WAS OVER THIS!!!". Now I just TRY to see it as an opportunity to release a bit more and a bit more. Maybe it's never really gone. But it does get better, if we don't push it down, and allow ourselves to fester in the hurt and anger. Anger is really only hurt. So it's really just hurt we need to look at and release. I believe that we all do the best we can with the skills we have at the time, and that we don't intend to harm others but sometimes our own pain and dysfunction gets others caught in the crossfire.
I think it's possible that some of this was triggered by my recent visit to my son. I hadn't seen my son in 9 years. He is the spitting image of his father and only about a year younger than his dad was when I met him. Handsome and wild. He has some similar personality traits. I'm sure looking at my X's face in his, and hearing his voice in his, and seeing his mannerisms in him, was bound to stir up some old memories.
Without all my X's (who don't live in Texas), I wouldn't be who I am now. I bow to them all in gratitude. I apologize to them all for any hurt I caused them. I forgive them for any hurt they caused me.
And maybe, just maybe, the spirit of my X visited me in my dreams to show me that he loved me but just couldn't keep it together...to show me that the person who did mean, dangerous, hurtful things, was not who he is at his spirit. And I always knew this. I fell in love with who I saw underneath the crap...but choosing to build a life with someone like that is dicey business. It just couldn't work.
Sometimes it's hard to sort and realize and stand firm in the knowledge that it is possible to love someone fiercely but at the same time realize that you're not right for each other in the long term. That takes a maturity that few people have. Sometimes I think intense attraction comes from having been with someone in a past life. I sort of wish I had the handbook to look them up and determine if it was a good life, or if we are to avoid each other for all of eternity. If I get my hands on that book, I'll share.
