I'm gonna share with you a story that embarrasses the poop out of me. I've shared it with so few people because it still makes me feel...I don't know...idiotic?
For a little bit of background info, I know I've mentioned in previous posts that I opened up to sensing spirits very abruptly and extremely...enough so that I thought it was a psychotic break and I went on medication. Which did nothing by the way. I eventually, over the course of 10 years or so, grew into knowing that I had a developing spiritual sensitivity with no idea where I was/am going with it. Time will tell.
I was living in a house that had 4 resident spirits (and it wasn't a very big house either!). One was a teen, victimized girl and the other three were brutish males. You could think of them like the obnoxious ghosts in Casper (the movie version). At the time I thought of them as very scary. But they never hurt me. In retrospect, I think they were there to get me to pay attention, to learn, to begin to discern, to trust myself etc. Only the hard way. Cuz I seem to like all my lessons the hard way. It's a gift, you might say.
I began getting a bunch of psychic information about a certain local person. A local, rather prominent professional person. One of the hardest things for me has been to learn to trust the intuitive information I get, and to share it. I mean, you know, what if you're perfectly wrong? Like this time. So many years later, I honestly have no answer. I'm more careful about how and when I share messages and of what purpose the sharing might serve. Showing off is not a good reason. Cuz it can go all kinds of awful.
So as it turns out, first, someone close to me, shared some of this information with this person. He looked at her like she had grown three heads and nothing she passed on rang a bell. At all. I mean, he was nice about it, in a "perhaps you need medication" sort of way, but it was embarrassing. Then I go and follow it up with this letter. I never got a response. The only thing I can tell you with certainty, is that this person did indeed, eventually leave town and close their business, only to return and reopen it (or one like it). So I have no way of knowing how much of what I'm about to share ever came to pass or was true. I can also tell you I avoid this person like the plague. I don't think he would know me from Adam, but I'm scared he might. I feel utterly and totally and completely chagrined. I think I shared false information. A lot of it. I think it was part of my "boot camp" and partly being fed info from stupid-faced spirits who thought it was funny to mess with me. But like I said, it's all part of the growing process.
Here we go...maybe it's only embarrassing to me. You might find it perfectly fascinating...or utterly boring.
May 20, 2004Dear ________,I’m writing because, for some reason, I feel very drawn to you on some spiritual level that I can’t explain. It’s like I am supposed to help you with something, but I don’t yet know what.You may not know this or realize it, but our paths have crossed many times over the last 15 or so years. I would occasionally see you when I worked at ______ and ______.I worked for _________ until recently and would get occasional referrals and you would get occasional MSW evaluations from me.I used to see you at the college gym, and also at the athletic club.You even ended up attending my 20-year class reunion with _______ (what WERE you thinking?).I called you once when I was working at _________ regarding a shared client with bulimia/anorexia and you thanked me for caring about her.We have walked past each other on _______ property and there always seems to be some sort of recognition like we know each other but we don’t.I have worked at ________ for the past year and one day you walked in, introduced yourself to me and asked if we could help you with a patient.You live(d) very close to my mother, so I’ve seen you in her neighborhood. And, I sense you have seen my car, which is a red 2000 impala with plates CW MSWThen, of course, you have met _______ at ______ who, by the way is feeling really embarrassed by your encounter with her because as strong as the messages were that I was receiving, she assumed you would immediately know and understand. And you didn't.Recently, I was at the home of _______ and they spoke of how kind you had been to them, even offering to come to their house. I was there less then 12 hours before he died, and weird as it sounds, he visited me afterward.One day, _______ walked by your house on her way to the track to walk and had a vision that I would live in your house (which is crazy because I only work part time and can’t even afford the $460 rent I pay now). She seemed to know the layout of the house without ever having been in it. Is it, by any chance three bedroom, bedrooms upstairs, tub bathroom upstairs and shower bathroom down stairs, no dining room but dining space off the kitchen? This type of thing has never happened to her before (and again, could be wrong). I'm pretty sure this was wrong.I have since had a few odd flashes of information that may or may not be true. I sometimes get pieces of information that either pertain to somebody else or are simply my imagination, so I’m totally going out on a limb here by sharing what messages I received.I had a vision that you were adopted and the date on your birth certificate was November 22, but it was your adoption date and your real birth date was May 8, 1961, 7 months prior. I sensed that you would research this on your own before discussing it with your mother. I think this was not even remotely correct.I had a flash that you are married, but separated from Rita, and had a son named Simon who died at age 6, this broke up the marriage and his death and the lack of compassion you received from the medical community was the reason you became a ______, and a very compassionate one at that. Again, totally wrong.I feel that your father died of a heart attack, perhaps recently, and there was much left unsaid between you two, and between he and your mother. I get that your mother and Rita both live in Corvallis and this is the primary reason for your move. I think this is wrong.I get that you are not ready to sell your house and are fixing it up with the hopes that Rita and your mother will return to live here someday. I also feel that you and Rita will reconcile and later adopt a child.Simon is with you, and I think you sense him on some level but don’t quite understand it. You very much want to communicate with Simon and perhaps your father as well. And you can. Wrong. Pretty sure he RE-married someone else, and they just recently had a baby together...no adoption.I have been praying to try to figure out what if anything I should tell you because it seems so weird and I’m so afraid I’m wrong and you will think I’m a nut. This spiritual development in me is foreign, new and at times frightening to me. I’ve been praying over this and feel compelled to tell you what visions I was “seeing” and to give them to you bluntly. and now I think God has quite the sense of humor.I know this all sounds crazy and believe me, if I got a letter like this, I would be stunned and freaked out. If you had told me 6 months ago that I would be experiencing the things that I am, and talking to people about them and feeling crazy, I would have never believed it. It is too big and too much and too fast. There is some sort of psychic sensitivity that is quickly developing in me that I don’t understand and you are one of the people who have been on my mind and weighing on my heart.I know you are leaving soon so I wanted you to know how you could contact me if you want to talk about this more, or if you feel the need to contact me down the road sometime if something comes up, or if you have questions, or if you want to know where to send the police :-)I sense and feel a genuine spirit of kindness, caring and faith from you so hopefully, you will not be concerned that some psycho is after you. I figured, since you are leaving, AND I don’t know you anyway, what would I have to lose by being honest with what I feel/sense? If you can think of a reason or way that I/we may be able to be helpful to you in some capacity (no, I don’t want to wash your car or mow your lawn), please get in touch, or talk with ______ more at _______.All my best to you,
OK, so....*groan*. I'm blushing.
